Jalop is a term used by the elitist shitheads that read Jalopnik to describe themselves. Jalops have a sheer hatred of SUVs, old Cadillacs, America, and anything mildly luxurious. Jalops think anyone who doesn't drive a Miata or motorcycle should be shot for attempting to own something mildly practical.
Hey Jalop, can you pop the hood?
Naw, I don't know how. Hey, wait, this is a Tahoe. I'm gonna get my boyfriend and we're gonna piss on it together.
by eyaare June 28, 2012
To smack or attack someone with a penis.
*thwack*
I just jaloped you!
by Cosmixmaster June 30, 2003
boobies. used by Pablo Francisco.
check out her jalops!
by Jared & Jessie <33 October 28, 2005
a dumb or goofy person
your a jalop for locking the keys in the car.
by roger khouri November 26, 2007
the ability to commit an action, abrasive or discrete, and overwhelm the minds of others.
There is nothing like waking up and jaloping like that for the first time.
by Deek Méhöfwright June 14, 2010
Not only a dangerous form of martial arts, but a very helpful way to finish chores faster.
"Hey suckah, gimme yo monay!"
*zip*
"What the?"
*Thwack!*
by Ahndi September 25, 2003
v. To cock slap someone, typically in the face, also see jallop.
After beating Joe in Warcraft III, Tommy jaloped him right in the face.
by The Penguin Incarnate October 26, 2003
What Cosmix said
by AHH September 24, 2003

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