A prestigious peer-reviewed medical journal targeted to pretentious anal-retentive physicians; journal in direct competition with the Annals of Internal Medicine

Part A
Death in a Bottle (DIAB) Drug Description - provides up to 12-hour relief per dose, but a lifetime of bad memories. Hydrocodone is a centrally-acting toxic sludge, designed to attack every sense. This then produces an intense distraction from the pain and may even cause the patient to blackout. This blackout period can range anywhere between 5 hours to 7 days. Care must be taken in order to ensure the survival of the victim/patient. Chlorpheniramine is an Opiate that prevents the person from feeling the lethal concoction crawling through his or her veins. DIAB is for non-use only. DIAB should not be taken, period. If one insists, only take this deadly brew once every 4-5 years and in fractional increments. Any more than a gram of the stuff can cause internal bleeding and immediate loss of sight and control of one's bowel movements.
Side Effects:
Vomiting - This is due to the putrid smell reaching one's nose and causing them to lose their bearings to the surrounding world, this effect is similar to seasickness.

A set of hospital rules/truths from Samuel Shem's book, "The House of God". I. Gomers don't die. II. Gomers go to ground. III. At a cardiac arrest, the first procedure is to take your own pulse. IV. The patient is the one with the disease. V. Placement comes first. VI. There is no body cavity that cannot be reached with a #14 needle and a good strong arm. VII. Age + BUN = Lasix dose. VIII. They can always hurt you more. IX. The only good admission is a dead admission. X. If you don't take a temperature, you can't find a fever. XI. Show me a medical student who only triples my work and I will kiss his feet. XII. If the radiology resident and the medical student both see a lesion on the chest x-ray, there can be no lesion there. XIII. The delivery of medical care is to do as much nothing as possible. See also: gomer.

If a man is getting deepthroated and he does not let the headgiver know when he is about to cum and, thereby spontaneously combusts a load of semen into the back of her throat so that she gags and sometimes asphyxiates herself, he is said to have "given her the cough syrup" or "a taste of her own medicine"

Regular Dictionary Deffinition:
Main Entry: Turner's Syndrome
Pronunciation: trnr(z)-; tn(z)-, tin-
Variant(s): or turner syndrome
Function: noun
Usage: usually capitalized T
Etymology: after Henry Herbert Turner died 1970 American physician
: a genetically determined condition that is typically associated with the presence of only one complete X chromosome and no Y chromosome and with characteristics including a female phenotype underdeveloped, and usually infertile ovaries, absence of menstrual onset, short stature, excess skin about the neck, aortic coarctation, and a low hairline on the back of the neck.

Medical Dictionary Deffinition:
Main Entry: Tur·ner's syndrome
Pronunciation: tr-nrz-
Variant(s): or Tur·ner syndrome \-nr-\
Function: noun
: a genetically determined condition that is typically associated with the presence of only one complete X chromosome and no Y chromosome and with characteristics including a female phenotype, underdeveloped and usually infertile ovaries, absence of menstrual onset, short stature, excess skin about the neck, cubitus valgus, aortic coarctation, and a low hairline on the back of the neck
(Turner, Henry Hubert (1892-1970), American endocrinologist). Turner practiced internal medicine privately and served as a consulting endocrinologist and chief of a metabolic clinic at a university hospital in Oklahoma. He described Turner's syndrome in 1938.

Digital Rectal Massage - A 2006 Ig Nobel Award-winning medical technique used to terminate intractable hiccups. DRM has been shown to stop hiccups within 30 seconds when "attempted using a slow circumferential motion." Please see Francis M. Fesmire's various medical publications for precise details.

A fine piece of ass doctor from House.

She suffers from Huntington's disease and specialises in internal medicine.