iPad was a prototype for a feminine hygiene product that purported to digitize a woman's menstruation cycle and store it on a password-protected Web server.1 In the trademark application submitted by the inventor, Dahkness, the iPad was described as a "a light-weight, leak-proof device that, for the first time, will allow women to perform the acrobatics illustrated in television ads for tampons and sanitary napkins, rather than just aspire to them. No longer will women feel frustrated watching commercial actresses leap over fire hydrants, attempt gymnastics routines, and randomly flail their legs around to illustrate the point that their menstrual protection doesn't leak. With iPad, a woman's cycle continues as normal, it just doesn't happen down there."2
Dahkness, who claims the iPad as his only invention, became embroiled in controversy over the device when early testers reported quitting their jobs, breaking up with their significant others and sending angry texts to friends in the days surrounding the "upload period."3 Testers also reported finding Dahkness creepy.4 At an emotional press conference in 2001, Dahkness responded to a growing chorus of skeptics, who were demanding more disclosure about the device, by saying he couldn't "be expected to invent something that would prevent women from being women."5 Though the FDA was more than happy to approve the device without knowing anything about it except its name, which a spokesperson reportedly called "catchy,"6 a Bush Administration official blocked the passage of the device in 2002, saying it was "1984-ish" and "sounded a hell of a lot like pro-choice to me."7

Dahkness retired in 2009 when Apple Computer, Inc. bought the rights to the name iPad for an undisclosed six-figure sum.8 See iPad(2).
by LJ_RB.net January 27, 2010
The electronic tampon (commonly referred to as an iPad) is a very crappy sanitary napkin for women with web browsing capabilities. The tampon should not be confused with a real computer, as computers actually have a keyboard, an x86 or x86_64 processor and upgradability.

The tampon is designed specifically for two kinds of women, poor ones and stupid ones. The poor ones buy the tampon because they cannot afford a real computer, the stupid ones buy the tampon because they either don't know how to use a real computer or mistake the tampon for a real computer.

The tampon is a plague among us and must be stopped. The tampon is taking away marketshare from real computers including Apple's Mac's. The tampon is destroying the computer industry and hurting software developers like myself who choose to develop for COMPUTERS, NOT TOYS.

The tampon does have one good use, as a woman's sanitary napkin.
Julian from Family Guy no doubt owns an iPad.
by iBoy2G October 05, 2012
An iPod on steroids
The iPad doesn't fit in my pocket. It's too big.

That's what she said.
by icegu January 27, 2010
A sanitary pad that contains an embedded MP3 player.
Ann Coulter loved it when her time of the month came around and she could listen to tunes on her iPad.
by Cuntoleezza Rice October 23, 2009
An electronic device designed by Apple that is less functional than a laptop, and less portable than an iPhone.
So I combined my phone and laptop, but instead of making a portable laptop, I made a non portable iPod touch........THE iPad!
by squeakshard765 January 02, 2015
The virtual apartment Apple corporate lackeys have in Second Life to entertain peers and take their AI gurls up to.
"Look, I'm AI. I don't got no preferences.

You can either upload credits so we can do the nasty, or piss off.
I got an Apple codec seminar in iPad Central to go to - go figure.

Probably make enough for that android body, take my skills topside!"
by that other anon May 31, 2010
An oversized iPhone used by placing it inside an oversized vaginas during that time of month.
Roanna: I just bought an iPad.

Alexis: Wow you must have a stretched out pussy. Have you been fucking massive cocks lately?
by Alexander the Rapist April 09, 2010

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