A revolutionary new device from Apple, Inc, filling the niche between a computer and a smartphone. Perfect for surfing pornography during important meetings while still looking like you are on the cutting edge of technology.
Cope: "Is that the new 3G iPad?"
Panik: "it sure is. Go over those synergies again? I have something to view on this thing."
by Mindflayer May 03, 2010
Apple's newest iProduct

The iPad is the worlds most expensive menstrual product. you get one per package that can only be used once for the amazing price of $499

Available at Apple stores and ladies restrooms worldwide
Girl: Fuck Kotex, I got the Apple iPad
by applealex February 01, 2010
The most expensive but useless rectangle on earth
Me : With an iPad, um..... you can draw a rectangle!
by askdjfkhajsk January 14, 2012
A device created by Apple that features all the convenience of watching porn on an iPod touch, with the big screen of a laptop.
Dude 1: "Is that Backdoor Sluts III!?"

Dude 2: "You bet it is!"

Dude 1: "Wow, I sure am glad you spent $500 on that iPad! Now I can clearly watch your mobile porn from the reflection on the French doors!!!"
by Their Pseudonym July 22, 2010
The satin black mask that you strap to your head at night to keep the light out.
"I hate it when light comes in the window and wakes me up each morning!" "Yeah, me too, that's why I always carry my I-Pad..."
by tadpole0763 April 17, 2010
An iPod touch for seniors
My grandmother bought an iPad because she couldn't read the screen of an iPod touch
by drumgirl November 24, 2010
iPad was a prototype for a feminine hygiene product that purported to digitize a woman's menstruation cycle and store it on a password-protected Web server.1 In the trademark application submitted by the inventor, Dahkness, the iPad was described as a "a light-weight, leak-proof device that, for the first time, will allow women to perform the acrobatics illustrated in television ads for tampons and sanitary napkins, rather than just aspire to them. No longer will women feel frustrated watching commercial actresses leap over fire hydrants, attempt gymnastics routines, and randomly flail their legs around to illustrate the point that their menstrual protection doesn't leak. With iPad, a woman's cycle continues as normal, it just doesn't happen down there."2
Dahkness, who claims the iPad as his only invention, became embroiled in controversy over the device when early testers reported quitting their jobs, breaking up with their significant others and sending angry texts to friends in the days surrounding the "upload period."3 Testers also reported finding Dahkness creepy.4 At an emotional press conference in 2001, Dahkness responded to a growing chorus of skeptics, who were demanding more disclosure about the device, by saying he couldn't "be expected to invent something that would prevent women from being women."5 Though the FDA was more than happy to approve the device without knowing anything about it except its name, which a spokesperson reportedly called "catchy,"6 a Bush Administration official blocked the passage of the device in 2002, saying it was "1984-ish" and "sounded a hell of a lot like pro-choice to me."7

Dahkness retired in 2009 when Apple Computer, Inc. bought the rights to the name iPad for an undisclosed six-figure sum.8 See iPad(2).
by LJ_RB.net January 27, 2010

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