Being one from the Tri-State area, I can confirm that a Guido is a piss poor excuse for an Italian-American selling out his culture, country, and way of life. \

Commonly seen in trendy clubs/dive bars looking like half-a-fag with slicked up hair, shirts two sizes too small, popped-collars, ripped/tight jeans, and whatever else is trendy at the time, they are often dancing in the middle of the floor like a jackass while all the regular people point and laugh.
In said habitats, they are often seen drinking bitch drinks with cute umbrellas that are various colors of the rainbow, undoubtedly symbolizing their homosexuality.
Also can be described as a douchebag, among other various insults, that has an inflated sense of self worth, compounded by the IQ of someone that is legally retarded, behaving like a complete jackass in public at all times no matter how fucking retarded he may appear.
A fake, peice of shit looking bronze tan is commonly seen on these poor excuses of a human being, which adds to their ridiculous image that makes my life a hell of a lot more bearable.
Always seen in a gym, these jacked up guys actually have the balls the size of peanuts. Unable to fight a fight on their own, the rely on the fact that they travel in packs in order to intimidate those around them. When seen on their own, flight usually takes precedence when faced with a physical altercation.
If you seen one of these creatures in the wild, take cover, take pictures, and laugh. The most pathetic thing about these kids is that they actually take themselves seriously.
ex. The Gotti Brothers, those guys you see in the funny Guido videos on
by JasonMB September 20, 2006
A man of Italian decent, who, after he has finished snorting obnoxious amounts of cocaine and fist bumped holes into your wall, would like nothing more than to take a power dump on your couch to assert his dominance and convert your daughters ez-bake oven into a tanning bed for his dick. Traditionaly a guido's goal in life is to make trashy classy.(i.e. designer wifebeaters). Guido's have often been described as a gym rat/date rapist with class.
Guy 1: " Bromeo have you heard from Tony B"
Guy 2: " Ya I was at his house yesterday. He just sat in his chair and did nothing but use his shake weight for 2 hours while maintaining that " it's not guy unless a guy actually splooges all over your face." And only then because it could ruin ones spray on tan."
Guy 1: " What a guido."
by dslice1234 January 01, 2012
A local of the NY/NJ area who's style seeks to emmulate one of the growing up Gotti kids. They prefer fake flashy jewelery,anything dolce and gabbana,armani, or tight and load their greasy heads with atleast 5 different hair products. They come in all different shades from Pale to Orange skin, love diesel,pumas,addidas, nike,kswiss,reebok, think they can beat everyone up and cant dance so they stay in one area and do multiple spins and fist pumps at the local clubs.
RAUL: Yo look at that herb with the sonic the hedge hog hair,diamond earing,yankee fitted, wife beater, and tan in the can complection.

by UKNOWWHO08 July 16, 2008
A normally tan individual that is constantly thinking about himself and ways to make him appear cool, such as: Going to the gym, Taking a variety of vitamins and supplements, Tanning, Constantly grooming his blowout/facial hair, Partaking in an excessive amount of photos, Clubbing, Wearing very expensive/tight clothing, Bragging
Look at that fuckin guido, he has over 1,500 pictures on facebook and hes making the same face in everyone.
by bpalms May 01, 2008
a guido is simply just a douchebag
About 5 guidos at the club tried to get me to sleep with them last night. What douches.
by wowthatslame June 11, 2008
A mystical human-like creature with magical abilities because somehow, even though talking like an idiot, dressing like a girl or retard, sporting a ridiculous hair-cut and acting like a mobster when actually being from a wealthy suburban area, he will still get laid.
No example necessary for Guido.
by Laevsky March 13, 2008
Basically, that guy at the gym who:

- Begins screaming wildly while lifting 130 lbs.
- Lugs a 1 gallon water jug around, but never seems to drink it.
- Hits on anything that moves
- Obsesses with weight lifting, and takes Muscle Milk, Powerbars, or any other body building suppliment.
- Screams slogans while lifting weights, like "Feel da powa!"
Andrew is such a fucking guido. He was ejected from the gym for wearing sunglasses inside, and yelling that his workout partner should push "like his mother pushed him out of the womb." (True guido experience)
by Dashhh October 04, 2010
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