29
Being one from the Tri-State area, I can confirm that a Guido is a piss poor excuse for an Italian-American selling out his culture, country, and way of life. \

Commonly seen in trendy clubs/dive bars looking like half-a-fag with slicked up hair, shirts two sizes too small, popped-collars, ripped/tight jeans, and whatever else is trendy at the time, they are often dancing in the middle of the floor like a jackass while all the regular people point and laugh.
In said habitats, they are often seen drinking bitch drinks with cute umbrellas that are various colors of the rainbow, undoubtedly symbolizing their homosexuality.
Also can be described as a douchebag, among other various insults, that has an inflated sense of self worth, compounded by the IQ of someone that is legally retarded, behaving like a complete jackass in public at all times no matter how fucking retarded he may appear.
A fake, peice of shit looking bronze tan is commonly seen on these poor excuses of a human being, which adds to their ridiculous image that makes my life a hell of a lot more bearable.
Always seen in a gym, these jacked up guys actually have the balls the size of peanuts. Unable to fight a fight on their own, the rely on the fact that they travel in packs in order to intimidate those around them. When seen on their own, flight usually takes precedence when faced with a physical altercation.
If you seen one of these creatures in the wild, take cover, take pictures, and laugh. The most pathetic thing about these kids is that they actually take themselves seriously.
ex. The Gotti Brothers, those guys you see in the funny Guido videos on youtube.com.
by JasonMB September 20, 2006
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30
A man of Italian-American descent--or at least claims to be--who spikes his hair straight up, goes tanning every single day, plucks his eyebrows, and talks in a shitty New York accent. Some of the most vile humans to ever walk the earth.
Me: Hey, do you know where the bathroom is at?
Guido: Who da fuck are you lookin' at? I oughta kick your ass ya fackin kweeyah! I take 'roids bro, ROIDS!
Me: What a fuckin' guido.
by Chris2626 May 17, 2008
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31
Stupid fucks that are usually italians and try to be basasses by having the thick brooklyn accents to scare people but in reality they are just pussys. These people often wear to much coligne, wear gold chains, wear wife beaters, somthing from the armani exchange, and are usually pretty stupid. They often open their big mouths and brag about somthing stupid (like killing some one, robbing a house etc) and end up getting caught. They also usually have what little hair they have spicked up like they got electrcuted.
That stupid fuck danny pelosi had to open his big guido mouth about killing the guy now hes in jail 25yrs-life.

Tyson put your hair down your look like a fucking guido.

That fucking guido tried to scare me with his italian/brooklyn accent but it didnt faze me
by big tim February 03, 2005
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32
spends a lot of time getting ready in front of the mirror (probably longer than a woman), has enormous amounts of gel in his hair, wears a tight t-shirt or wife-beater and somehow eventually ends up with his shirt off. Ed Hardy shirts are preferred but if you're a poor guido Affliction shirts will do the trick. Other essential fashion accessories include designer sunglasses, gaudy jewelry (earrings, necklaces) and torn, stonewashed/white jeans. Steroids are almost a must and you must work out while looking into a mirror at all times. Over-Tanning is essential and a preferred look is an oompa-loompa shade of orange.The guido is very much into his looks, has a large ego, very proud of his italian ancestry, and very much into techno/euro-trance/beats music. This form of music gives way to the guido fist-pump and other forms of gyration. Guidos can dance anywhere including - but not limited to- parking lots and beaches. When guidos go out to party they engage in binge drinking, lame come-ons to anyone of the opposite sex, the guido-fist pump/dance off and the eventual roid-rage fight at the end of the night.
These guidos at the beach are cracking me up with their dancing.
by 305 guy December 22, 2009
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33
Stupid fucks from the NYC area, not all of them are Italian anymore at my school the guidos are Italian, Hispanic, Irish, Jewish, black, and asian. A typical guido wheres tight Armani Exchange clothing, wifebeaters, chains, Nike Cortez, Reebok Classic, or Nike Air Force One shoes. They always lift up the side of their wifebeaters to show off their stupid Nextel phones. They use a bottle of hair gel a day to spike up half an inch of hair, they also keep a cigarette behind their ear at all times. They take steriods and work out at the gym regularly (they show off by doing trying to lift as much weight as they can in 1 rep). They drive BMWs that their parents gave them for their 16th birthday, they drive way too fast and like to fight non-guidos for no real reason.
"I heard the guidos are going to fight some blacks and Mexicans outside of New Roc tonight".

"Yeah, so what else is new".
by Bizniggle September 11, 2004
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34
Basically, that guy at the gym who:

- Begins screaming wildly while lifting 130 lbs.
- Lugs a 1 gallon water jug around, but never seems to drink it.
- Hits on anything that moves
- Obsesses with weight lifting, and takes Muscle Milk, Powerbars, or any other body building suppliment.
- Screams slogans while lifting weights, like "Feel da powa!"
Andrew is such a fucking guido. He was ejected from the gym for wearing sunglasses inside, and yelling that his workout partner should push "like his mother pushed him out of the womb." (True guido experience)
by Dashhh October 04, 2010
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35
it is very hard to define a guido, but the archetype includes: an inordinate amount of hair gel, tight neon colored polo shirts (usually more than one) with the collars popped, and large designer sunglasses. this group is pretending to be of Italian decent if they aren't actually Italian. they enjoy things like lifting, being pussies and taunting without anything to back up their threats or taunts. The areas most densly populated with guidos are the Jersey Shore and parts of new york
that guy in "my new haircut" on youtube is the quintessential guido.
by hatethegamenottheplayer October 18, 2009
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