a person so uneducated that he judges the success of another individual by the amount of jewelry or car they drive.
this really happened: I met a Guido at my company's training seminar and one of our speakers was Tony Jeary, who is known in certain circles, but Guid' goes, " I dunno, he ain't got no nice watch. ring or nuthin (it's hard to type this and keep from laughing), so he ain't doin that good."
by Kathryn Stone June 01, 2003
Being one from the Tri-State area, I can confirm that a Guido is a piss poor excuse for an Italian-American selling out his culture, country, and way of life. \

Commonly seen in trendy clubs/dive bars looking like half-a-fag with slicked up hair, shirts two sizes too small, popped-collars, ripped/tight jeans, and whatever else is trendy at the time, they are often dancing in the middle of the floor like a jackass while all the regular people point and laugh.
In said habitats, they are often seen drinking bitch drinks with cute umbrellas that are various colors of the rainbow, undoubtedly symbolizing their homosexuality.
Also can be described as a douchebag, among other various insults, that has an inflated sense of self worth, compounded by the IQ of someone that is legally retarded, behaving like a complete jackass in public at all times no matter how fucking retarded he may appear.
A fake, peice of shit looking bronze tan is commonly seen on these poor excuses of a human being, which adds to their ridiculous image that makes my life a hell of a lot more bearable.
Always seen in a gym, these jacked up guys actually have the balls the size of peanuts. Unable to fight a fight on their own, the rely on the fact that they travel in packs in order to intimidate those around them. When seen on their own, flight usually takes precedence when faced with a physical altercation.
If you seen one of these creatures in the wild, take cover, take pictures, and laugh. The most pathetic thing about these kids is that they actually take themselves seriously.
ex. The Gotti Brothers, those guys you see in the funny Guido videos on youtube.com.
by JasonMB September 20, 2006
a male of any age, distinctly characterized by his Italian or wannabe Italian descent. He will be the one with the hair spiked up to the ceiling with pointy sideburns. A guido will always have a tan, even in the winter. Guidos can be seen getting their eyebrows waxed and purchasing oversized valor suits and wife beaters at macys. They will commonyl use terms such as "bro (or brah), yo, nah, and other words that you be able to understand anyway because guidos are known to mumble. They drive their parents' BMWs witht he windows down, while balsting any kind of dance, techno, trance, or anything else on KTU.

Oh my God, i saw ther king of the guidos today. I swear his hair touvhed the ceiling.
by kelley olson March 21, 2006
1) From the Italian Verb - Guidare - to drive

2) Conjegation of italian word *to drive* meaning I drive...Io guido

3) A Name represanting Gill in Italian. Male name

3) A sterotypical version of the italian american. Guidos are supposedly all italian when They have never been to the country in there entire life. They presumme that they are "the ####, gee" when they look like "####..gee?"


1) Are Italian American residing predominatly in New York or New Jersey.
2)Cannot speak proper english and immitate a terriable new york accent ( I am a New Yorker from the Bronx and I don't talk like that!!!)
3) Most likely have never been to Italy. And if they have, have most likely been to the South ( such as Palermo and Calabria)
4) Believe they know everything about italy when they dont!.( and if you are a guido going "pfff!" at this...then tell me, who is Coismo di Medici...and Petrarco? )
5) Think they can speak Italian when all they know are words from their grandmother ( a.k.a La Nonna) who came from south italy and speaks a regional dialect. ( If you are a guido and still denying it.....alhora, dimmi che cosa dico adesso é voglio vedere che cosa scriverái....eh? cosa vuoi dirmi?? Solo "talia la peciuota??" col tuo dialetto schifoso siciliano??? BAAAA! )
6) Think People in Italy act the way they act...hell no! They are very cultured!!!! And I am proud to say that I grew up under that influence and not some "yo, look at me lets hit the club"
7) Only where Armani Exchange......psssssh! Please, Bitch, I wear Dolce and Gabbana, Prada, Kenneth Cole and Christian Dior.....you couldn't match me with your false "bella figura"
9) sorry for getting off up there but back to what guidos are....
10)Make fun of homos....and for your information my dear guido...10% of Italy is GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
11)Are born and raised Catholic...nothing against it...I'm catholic and italy is 98% Catholic......but Guidos only go to church during Easter and Christmas.....
12) Think all italy is about the mafia....ummmm...for your information.....italy has gotten rid of the mafia ages ago...where's your brain?? Surely not on italy's new semi communist leader Brodi (GASP!)
13) Think Sicily is another country...DUMB ASS! It's a province of Italy!!!!!!!!!
14) Can't dress formally...buttoned up shirts that are half open...dear sweet god NO! Do me a favor and go look at GQ......see how REAL Italians dress (a.k.a ...MILANESE look!)
15)Listen only to techno,....well so do I, but they Only listen to it...and italian singers like Nek and Laura Pausini...which is nice...but they have no idea what they are saying...lol
16) Think Italian food is just pasta with mussels and meat balls....yo! Ever heard of Odori or Pesto???
17) Give annoying names like sal for Salvatore and Frankie for Franceso and Jonny for Gianlucca....uffa!
18) If they actually went to italy, they would be considered gay,......NO JOKE!
19) Assume they respect women but really only #### themmm,....yes...####..and they are usually guidettes...
20) Guidettes are noisey spolied bitches in high heeled books, ambercromie jeans and a/x shirts...and have WAAAAAYYY too much make up on them...their hair is also extremly straight and highlighted.
20) If they went to italy...they'd be ######...again...no joke!
21) Make fun of art, theatre, and poetry because it's "gay"...bitch...ITALIANS INVENTED THAT "GAY" STUFF!!
22)Think French is gay.......Italy is partners with France in europe....they are considered twins...so if you call france gay...you say italy is gay...."capisce?"
23) STOP SAYING CAPISCE!! It is pronounced and grammatically incorrect!....It's "capisci?" for you and "Hai capito?" for past tense....uffa!
24) Drive BMWs....Italians actually drive Smart Cars and I have been to italy about 7 times and have never seen an ferrari!!!
25) BMWs are German for your information...lol
26)Gel their hair waaaayyyy to much
27) Metro sexuals, but italians natrually are so props for that....
28) Think the Godfather and good fellas are italian classics......umm...no...that would be, La vita é bella and Remember me my love, Malena, The Last Kiss.....go watch those and see how italians really are
29) Italians from ITALY..are metrosexual, but keep it under control. Wear name brands but also know how to make wal mart look good...almost all of them speak french or german....drink espresso and green tea....listen to punk....are scholarly...a.k.a geeky for you...go to theatres.....read and write poetry.......READ BOOKS!!! and no not hary potter...I mean books like The new life by dante!!!
30) Guidos make fun of other races...not all of them,,,,but some...Italians do not and enjoy learning about others and practicing them

Now, I am Half Italian Half Dominican but grew up going to Italy and beng Raised italian. My mother comes from Genova ( in the north italy but her family is from the south in Naples) I grew up with the life style of an actual italian and not an italian american and when I look at guidos, it is sad that they are so limited of true knowledge of italy is...guido is a stero type...dont follow it...strive to be different.

If you are proud to be italian, dont put a flag on ur car...read DANTE and there goes your pride...!!

1) Loro non vogliono guidare con noi

2) Io guido ogni giorno quando ho bisogno di portare i miei figli alla scuola.

3) My Friend's name is Guido Medicino

4) Heya yo My name is Giovanni Carpigani and I come straight from BK!! yo, what up?
So yeah, just got make from the gym and now hitting it up my nonna's place for some meatballs al italiano and they're like the ####. Nobody on Chirstoforo Colombo Blvd can make Meat balls like Nonna Giussepina..yeah...YEAA!
So my mom just got me some new speakers for my ride, yo and the fellas and i are gonna hit it at the club to check out the "ragazzas", you hear...it's gonna be made cool yo!
Them hot bitches are gonna be bagin when the catch a look at out new razor phones with the Godfather theme ring tone...that be off the chain!!!!
My Cousin Gina also got me this new shirt from Aramni exchange,,,,#### be poppin son!! Yo, I gotta go holla at my homie, Frankie G Corpaccio and tell him about tonights after plans...we gonnaa beat some ####### up at canarsie for being so gay...they be reaading shakespeare...#######...we'll teach them a lesson...italian pride bebe...peace...!
by Jesus Anthony May 07, 2006
Stupid fucks from the NYC area, not all of them are Italian anymore at my school the guidos are Italian, Hispanic, Irish, Jewish, black, and asian. A typical guido wheres tight Armani Exchange clothing, wifebeaters, chains, Nike Cortez, Reebok Classic, or Nike Air Force One shoes. They always lift up the side of their wifebeaters to show off their stupid Nextel phones. They use a bottle of hair gel a day to spike up half an inch of hair, they also keep a cigarette behind their ear at all times. They take steriods and work out at the gym regularly (they show off by doing trying to lift as much weight as they can in 1 rep). They drive BMWs that their parents gave them for their 16th birthday, they drive way too fast and like to fight non-guidos for no real reason.
"I heard the guidos are going to fight some blacks and Mexicans outside of New Roc tonight".

"Yeah, so what else is new".
by Bizniggle September 11, 2004
fake tanned
wear fake huge chains
embarrasment 2 italians
use hairgel like its water
have tapeups
wear colored contacts
invade clubs and mallsespecially diesel stores or armani exchange
pimp out there honda accords or jettas
blast techno music

Omg i think i am getting guido-aphobic in this frickin mall
by iTaLiaNxgUrL October 31, 2006
A certain type of douchebag that lives in the New York City metro and is usually of Italian descent (although in my town, some of the Guido-types are Irish, Jewish, Hispanic, or Eastern Europea in addition to Italian.) You can find him in Brooklyn, in Westchester, the Bronx, Long Island, New Jersey, Staten Island, etc.
They are known for driving fast, tricked-out cars like BMW's, with which they blast their God-awful techno music.
They can be spotted wearing spiked-up hair smothered in gel, and often go out for fake tans.
They sport clothes such as A|X (an alternative, Politically-correct term for Guidos in my town is "A|X kids.") They also wear wife-beaters (they're behavior mirrors the name of those clothes.)
They also carry around Nextels that make the awful chirping noises.
They are generally all-around assholes who smoke pot, drink, harass people, live frivilously off of their wealthy or middle class parents, and trash people's property.
"I just heard a Nextel, must be the Guidos again."

"Those Guidos were blasting their crappying techno by my house last night."
by I hate NYC-area subgroups July 30, 2006

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