Crimp Off A Length 

Royal Navy slang dating back before the Second World War, it means to defecate, crap, shit or take a dump. Nothing fancy, to crimp off a length you merely have to evacuate your bowels.

"That fat fucker of a stoker is getting shitty with me again!"
"What're you goin' to do?"
"Next time the cunt is down the engine room, I'll crimp off a length in his best boots!"

Crimp Off A Length by AKACroatalin April 10, 2015

crimp off a length 

Tightening your sphincter mid poop to cut it in half.

I had such a massive turd this morning, i had to crimp off a length to stop it rising too high in the bowl

crimp off a length by Doctor rotcod March 4, 2014

crimp one off 

To take a sh*t and whilst it is midway through the batti, the 'crappee' sqeezes the ass muscle to cut it in half and leave the bathroom early.

"OMG! I'm late for my interview!!! Better crimp one off!"

crimp one off by McCowboy July 20, 2006

body off baywatch, face off crime watch 

This describes a girl with an amazing body but an ugly face. see Skeletor

Can also be "body FROM baywatch, face FROM crime watch"

Itz the sort of thing teenage boyz snigger about with their matez but wouldnt actually go say it 2 the girl in question.

"that girl has a body off baywatch, face off crime watch, shame..."

body off baywatch, face off crime watch by PedroXL September 30, 2006

office chimp

The fat stupid guy at work that sucks up to the boss, spouts simplistic platitudes, and thinks he is more experienced because he has worked there 20 years but you always seem to be fixing his fuck ups.

The office chimp at work came over to help me. I just wanted him to get away from me because he annoys me and he fucks things up all the time.
"There's no 'I' in team, that's what I always say." The office chimp stated.
Just to be a dick to him and hopefully drive him away, I brought up Maureen's promotion that he was hoping to get.
"It's okay, good things come to those who wait. I will get it next time." The office chimp replied.
Jesus fucking Christ, I thought to myself. Would you just go the fuck away.
Our boss walked by, and the office chimp stopped what he was doing and fucked up the order of my documents in the process.
"How are you doing today Frank?" the office chimp said overly cheerful.
Frank answered, "Good, glad to see you helping out over here."
"Got to teach these young guys, I have been here 20 years and they can learn a lot from me. Of course the people are our most important asset too! We wouldn't be anywhere without them and we need to step in and show we appreciate them." the fucking moron office chimp said.

office chimp by Nutzen YerMouf May 9, 2018