Bloomin 

Word that causes parents to suffer apoplexy when their toddlers learn it from their grandfathers and they subsequently look up the definition in Urban Dictionary

Not to be confused with a regional pronunciation of “blooming” as made popular by Raymond Briggs’ Father Christmas, which is a harmless colloquial ejaculation of frustration.

My child said “bloomin” and I’m worried everyone will think he’s referencing a fictional use of the word which involves a ludicrously specific sex act never performed in the history of human sexual intercourse

Bloomin by Vr1307 October 12, 2018

Bloomin 

A hainous sexual performance in which a man engages in intercourse with 5 women. The man first performs cunnilingus on the first woman, the second and third women are getting probed with two to three fingers in their vaginas. The forth woman is riding the man’s penis in either the cowgirl or the (optional) reserve cowgirl position. The fifth woman is loudly humming on the mans testicles making sure that this sexual act is well and truely heard if there are any people in proximity to this act.

“I had an epic bloomin last night with the birds from work.”

You deserved it you legend, but bloody hell that humming was loud!”

“I was at the rippers last night and copped a mad bloomin with all the strippers!
Oh yeah, how loud was the hum?
Fucken loud mate!”

Bloomin by Lachlan and Swanny August 24, 2017

bloomin 

going viral on the internet

yo dude, that kid is bloomin in his new video on youtube

bloomin by a456332 December 22, 2018

Bloomin

Something my Scottish parents would say as an easier-on-the-ears way to say ‘bloody’.

I canny find my bloomin car keys!

Bloomin by anonymous August 13, 2026

Bloomin' 

Just a casual swearword of the same nature as bloody, not too strong, but gets the point across with some level of emphasis.

Get that bloomin' rat out of the house!

Bloomin' by Floortigan October 14, 2018

Bloomin’

To be flourishing. At your absolute best. To be at a point that is even more desirable than a blooming onion at Outback

Damn Holly, you bloomin’

Bloomin’ by Sharky336 March 15, 2019

Bloomin' Onion 

While giving a girl a hardy fisting you open your hand up and pull out.

Man that was the best Bloomin' Onion ever, I didn't think I would get all my fingers back out.

Bloomin' Onion by Steviepq October 9, 2007