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1.
Missionary position sex on the floor, normally a rug, where the partners migrate a great distance during copulation.

If the carpet isn't nice, or the sex is just done wrong, this can be rough on the knees and back!
Petrovitch: Hey, have you heard anything about the date with Candy from our buddy, Assad?

Sonia : I guess it went well... well, kind of, they did a Persian Missionary house tour, so not sure it they are going to go out again. He said, they started missionary on the living room floor and ended up in the dining room after going through the family room and down a connecting hallway, past the kitchen... there may or may not have been a stair case too, just missionary the whole way!

Petrovitch: Wow, bet that hurt! When is he going to learn that missionary is just jerking off on all fours?!

Sonia : Yeah, right, I wouldn’t call him again; he cut his knees up so bad and hasn't been able to walk right all week!

Petrovitch: Well, to be positive, it's better, for the floors, than a dust mop! Can't wait to see infomercials for Persian Missionary mops on late night!
by Sputnik.beep.beep April 20, 2011