A. The main language spoken in the British Isles, the USA, Canada and Australia.

B. A person who comes from England. There are 4 main types of English person:

1. The Posh Nob

The steroetypical english person who died out in the 1800s. Typically seen as well spoken, wearing a bowler hat and moustache, and swiping away poor people with his cane.

2. The Farmer

Typical of most rural places in England. Normally an overweight middle-aged man wearing dirty overalls and a straw hat. Most common phrases are "Ooo-ar!" and any swearword concievable. Not as gentle as they look.

3. The Chav

A growing breed of English person. Loud, aggressive, obsessed with their looks and becoming a 'gangsta'. Normal IQ is about 31. Reproduces at an alarming rate.

4. The Non-English English Person

That asian bloke who runs the Off-Licence.

For any American readers there is an easy way to tell the difference between the English, Irish, Scottish and Welsh. This is vital if you wish to tour the UK in one piece:

1. Irish people get drunk and fight each other.
2. English people get drunk and shag each other.
3. Welsh people get drunk and shag sheep.
4. Scottish people get drunk and fight each other. Then they sober up and continue to fight each other.
English Type 1. "I say ol' chap, that's just not on - what what?"

English Type 2. "'Ere, I 'eard them fucking Polish are movin' down ar way . . ."

English Type 3. "Yerwot M8?! Come over 'er and say that yer fuckin' wanker!"

English Type 4. The non-American version of Apu from the Simpsons.
by Too Much Time to Waste October 27, 2007
a language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary
That word didn't used to be part of english.
by j-narrah November 13, 2003
The english language has been tied down gagged and gang raped by skater fags, gangsta's and wiggers who all like to shove slang in its ass.
Dude dat was teh sickest move eva.

Yo was happenin ova dere? Its a pimp stealin our hoes, lets pop a cap in his ass and den steal his bling. Fo Shizzle.

Hmm shizzle i dont think i see that word in an english dictionary, maybe ill check the how to talk like you've never gone to school manual....
by James Haig August 04, 2006
A language that only really intelligent people know how to speak correctly.
That person speaks English correctly! Wow, how smart!
by myselfmadeit June 02, 2006
Either means the people of England or a sadly mangled language. Once belonging to the Germanic Anglo-Saxons, the language has since become influenced by scores of other languages, slowly destroying the English language and its structure and rules.

Shanty (From Gaelic "Sean taigh"("old house")), galore (from Gaelic "gu leòr" ("enough")), whiskey (from Gaelic "uisge" ("water")), hamburger (from "Hamburg steak"), flower (from French "fleur", itself from Latin "flor"), bloom (from German "blum" ("flower")) and countless other words from so many other languages have, for better or worse, steeped into English.
"Let’s face it: English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England or french fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write, but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce, and hammers don’t ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day an cold as hell another?
When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on.
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?
Now I know why I flunked my English. It’s not my fault; the silly language doesn’t quite know whether it’s coming or going." -Richard Lederer.
by Lorelili March 28, 2005
Incredibly powerful and brutal race of people. Renowned worldwide for the ability to fight, hence why they are assiciated with lions, dragons, bulldogs etc, while the rose represents beauty.
Oh my its the english soccer hooligans, run!
by Will April 02, 2006
to paraphrase from Pulp Fiction:
Sammy L. Jackson: "Hey brad, where you from?"
SLJ: "What? hmm, do they speak english in what?"
B: "What?"
SLJ:"english, muthafucka, do uoi speak it?"
B: "What?"
SLJ: "Say 'what' again.." brandishes weapon
B: "What?"
SLJ: shoots B in arm.
by muddy shnuckles April 26, 2005
the most expressive language on the face of the earth. although widely insulted for it's strange spelling and grammar, no other major language on earth can convey ideas as precisely or as diversely as the english language. This is largely because of the huge amount of words that make up the english language, which dwarfs the vocabularies of other languages by comparison.

it's name is derived from the anglo-saxons.
as a kid i grew up speaking spanish. thankfully, i learned english and now i only speak spanish when i have no other choice.
by bobertdude December 03, 2007

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