1. A quirky little langauge that you wont have a chance of understanding unless you jump in with both feet. English often makes little sense when anylised but is certainly fun none the less, and which by some ungodly reason managed to spread to pretty much most of the world.

2. An even quirkier group of people that can do things downright eccentric, flamboyant or outragous and still maintain their dignity. A group of people that have ministries not departments, tea not coffie and an accent renouned in most of the world. An englishman has a natural born ability of self depreciation, a complex sense of humour (with a 'u'), and a brilliant cricket team (just dont tell the australians that). The english are also rather renouned for complaining about the weather or lack-there-of.
1. It's not color, its colour, and they're not cookies, they're biscuits!

2. A: Oh my gosh is'nt the weather just awefull
B: 'isnt'?, use proper english sir.
B: Oh so sorry, but we still won the cricket
A: So we did, how absolutly spiffing!
B: Oh do pass the tea
A: There you go, biscuits?
by Russell Dawson June 13, 2006
Someone or somthing originating from England. A small island in western europe, this island is also shared by wales, and scotland.

Many stereotypes are related back to the english. Such as wearing big top hats, speaking in a posh or stuck up accent, being rich, being agressive and moody and living in castles. These are all bullshit. I'm english and I'd love to be one rich motherfucker. All I am is a middleclass open minded student who has nothing against anyone. In the 'ye olde times' we did happen to gangrape most of the world (about 3/4 to be precise) but back then everyone was trying to do the exact same, we were just better. This makes many people angry, such as the Scottish, the Americans aaaand hell every other country in the world really (apart from the ones whoses asses we saved).

So please learn from this guys, we english are not all football hooligans, nor are we all Lords and Ladies of Yorkshire, the majority of us are just nice, friendy people who are activley seeking to make the world a better place.

Apart from Tony Blair, do not gauge us by his actions. Hes a cunt. So's Gordon Brown.
Stereoytpical English Gentleman - Well hello young master Blake, should you not be studying for your big scripture test you young scallywag you? Heyo do not tither, here is a pittance now be on your way.


Actual English man - Alright mate.
by KeepingKeyes October 26, 2007
A. The main language spoken in the British Isles, the USA, Canada and Australia.

B. A person who comes from England. There are 4 main types of English person:

1. The Posh Nob

The steroetypical english person who died out in the 1800s. Typically seen as well spoken, wearing a bowler hat and moustache, and swiping away poor people with his cane.

2. The Farmer

Typical of most rural places in England. Normally an overweight middle-aged man wearing dirty overalls and a straw hat. Most common phrases are "Ooo-ar!" and any swearword concievable. Not as gentle as they look.

3. The Chav

A growing breed of English person. Loud, aggressive, obsessed with their looks and becoming a 'gangsta'. Normal IQ is about 31. Reproduces at an alarming rate.

4. The Non-English English Person

That asian bloke who runs the Off-Licence.

For any American readers there is an easy way to tell the difference between the English, Irish, Scottish and Welsh. This is vital if you wish to tour the UK in one piece:

1. Irish people get drunk and fight each other.
2. English people get drunk and shag each other.
3. Welsh people get drunk and shag sheep.
4. Scottish people get drunk and fight each other. Then they sober up and continue to fight each other.
English Type 1. "I say ol' chap, that's just not on - what what?"

English Type 2. "'Ere, I 'eard them fucking Polish are movin' down ar way . . ."

English Type 3. "Yerwot M8?! Come over 'er and say that yer fuckin' wanker!"

English Type 4. The non-American version of Apu from the Simpsons.
by Too Much Time to Waste October 27, 2007
put spin on a pool shot in such a way as to make the cue ball travel in a curve
English my ass... this pool table is so shitty you couldn't make a straight shot if you wanted to
by des September 15, 2003
The best looking women with the sexiest accents on this beautiful little rock we call Earth. This coming from a Scottish man.
"Your accent, it's the classiest sound I've ever heard in all my days."
"Yes you handsome Scottish devil, that's because I'm English!"
by Lord of Judging Women August 14, 2008
The English language originated from England and throughout early centuries was mostly forced upon most of the world's inhapitants. It is one of the most common languages spoken in modern times.

English is the nationality of any who were born in England, the term "British" is mainly used by English people to describe themselves abroad. English people receive a lot of vocal abuse directly and indirectly from other nationalities. There is a lot of hatred of us from around the world not to mention hatred in Britain, because we gave them reasons to hate us, the British Empire for one; it travelled a large majority of the world and conquered foreign lands and enslaved it's indegious civilians, but don't forget, us English people were once invaded and conquered, i.e The Roman Empire, the Normans and Scandinavian Vikings. There are a lot of English idiots who are bigots and take other people for granted very easily, the common English twat who normally hates the Irish, welsh and scottish people without ever meeting one, the common English nice bloke sometimes likes to go down to the pub and have a pint and chat with its patrons, make sure their kids grow up right and be respectful but not be pushovers, as the same with a lot of other people.

I for one who is obviously English grew up not hating people who aren't white, because I was related to people had black skin.
England's history is very interesting despite it's brutality and sadism; my favourite country is Wales for it's beautiful mountainous landscape which looks nice on sunny days, some people think Wales has bad weather but where other places doesn't have bad weather, even though it has been a long time since I visited Wales and someday plan on going back, I've never been to Ireland but I am going on a trip there next year and I haven't been to Scotland. I am 17 and have been a lazy twat all summer but will be going to college and when I turn 18, reality will kick my arse.twat
"The English are bigots"
"Yes we are but if I was a bigot would I be talking to a forigner like you?"

English guy #1"I hate the bloody stupid Irish people"
English guy #2 (Me)"Okay name one Irish person you hate"
English guy #1"Well...I...a... don't know one but they are stereotypes as they say insults about us"
Me"And what make s you any differnt from an Irish stereotype?"

Me"I love Dara O'Brien, he's my favourite comedian"
Other guy"He's Irish"
Me"I know that adds flavour to his jokes"

Me"Frankie Boyle is the master of comedians"
Friend"I hate when he throws jokes at us English"
Me" I don't, I laughed my nuts off when he said all the Scots will be sitting on mountains watching the English drown when climate change kicks in"
by Karlone August 04, 2009
A language Samuel L. Jackson speaks.
"English Motherfucker! Do You Speak It!?"

Or as Samuel L. Jackson would say in Kingsman: The Secret Service:

"Englis Motherfucker! Do You Speak Ith?"
by nomanito May 14, 2016
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