Certified Pounder 

One who has the proper credentials for pounding (pounding being anything that involves the sphincter or the vagina); often has hot loads emptied onto the forearm and/or shoulder, hitting the chin adds bonus points.

Also known to break bunk beds while screwing a parole officer having sex for the first time post venerial-wart removal.

One who would be immune to all STDs and STIs, no matter how horridly whorish

One who takes the ring to Mordor (aka Elijah Wood)

One who can make wood look like metal... Is that it?

Also loves to leave woman wet, out of breathe and verbally and/or sexually assaulted.

Finally, one who finds a twenty dollar bill in inconspicuous place, i.e. vaginal walls or fallopian tubes (or in the butt)

Ethan earned his title of Certified Pounder after he became involved in a menage-de-toi with a monkey and a Skype camera... in the butt.

Certified Pounder by fatbass October 30, 2011