Cake Retention Syndrome 

Otherwise known as KIPLINGITIS. The body compulsively attracts all cake within a mile radius and stores it in special grease pouches developed in the stomach, buttocks, thighs, bingo wings and ankles. Vanessa Feltz is a celebrity sufferer of this condition. Indeed, such is her ability to retain mountains of cake that her name has been lent to the more acute form of the disease known as FELTZISM (See FAT FUCKS IN THE MEDIA).

"It was tragic, she had severe Cake Retention Syndrome - It was a bit like looking at a Battenburg in a tracksuit."

"The Kiplingitis caused the thighs to chaff sufficiently for spontaneous combustion to occur. The smell of baked goods could be discerned for several miles."

Cake Retention Syndrome by Dr. Goatfondler October 12, 2011

cake retention syndrome 

what fat fuckers suffer from when they say they have big bones, watter retention, M.E.

look at that fat bitch shes got cake retention.

cake retention syndrome by dave garnar June 24, 2005