brian griffin

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Brian Griffin...he's one crazy dawg!

by KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN January 28, 2005

brian griffin

A sexy beast from the show Family Guy. He is a witty dog that drinks martinis. He is also hot.

Brian Griffin got me into bestiality because he is hot.

by Hot Dog March 24, 2005

Brian Griffin

Brian is the family's dog on FOX's hit cartoon, Family Guy. Brian talks, walks on two feet, enjoys martinis, and goes to college, but is, well, still a dog and not just by appearance. He has many dog habbits such as eating garbage, licking himself and being afraid of the vacuum cleaner. Brian is often the voice of reason in the family, frequently reminding Peter how stupid his ideas are. Despite the fact that he is a dog, Brian dates human women regularly. His past love interests have included bulimic, stereotypical "dumb blonde" Jillian Russell, Lauren Conrad, real-life star of the reality show The Hills, Tracy Flannigan, the mother of his illegitimate son, Dylan, and Rita a middle-aged woman whom he proposed to. Other than humans, Brian also dated Carter Pewterschmidt's greyhound Sea Breeze, who is assumed to be pregnant with Brian's puppies, but that the real father turns out to be Ted Turner, as stated in Screwed the Pooch.

Lois: Brian, your home early, what happened to your date?
Brian Griffin: The same thing that always happens. She was an idiot.

Brian: You are really pretty
Girl at Bar: Thanks
Brian: You know, uh, I wrote a book
Girl at Bar: What's that?
Brian: It's like a long magazine
Girl at Bar: Huh?
Brian: It's like the Internet made out of a tree
Girl at Bar: Oh, weird. You want to have sex in the bathroom?
Brian: Oh gosh, what a treat, yes I would like that

Lois: Okay, one more minute, and then if there are two pink lines...
Peter: Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got Chris, Stewey, Richie, Joanie, Greg, Marsha, Bobby, Jan, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Boner, Urkel, Mr. Furley...
Brian: Peter those aren't your kids. That's the Nick-At-Night lineup.
Peter: Blanka, Zangief, Chun-Li, Guile, E. Honda...
Brian: That's Street Fighters.
Peter: Red, blue, green...
Brian: Those are colors.

by fantasy. December 24, 2009

Brian Griffin

A beloved cartoon character that got ran over by some asshole, and now he's dead.

Brian Griffin : I love you all.
*beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppp*
Chris : Mom, is he ...
Lois : Yes Chris, *sobs* our Brian is dead.

by Wyzzy November 30, 2013

Brian Griffin

The 7 year old (dog years) family dog in the show Family Guy. Altough he is the family pet, he is the only one who actually has a sense of class in the family, but he often known for drinkng lots of martinis and getting drunk. He had a crush on Lois, but that was cleared when they talked it over.

Brian Griffin is one classy character

by d'fo March 29, 2004

Brian Griffin

The white labodor from Family Guy. Brian is the kind, loyal, sophisticate, and adorable little dog of the show. He is one of the smartest in the house. He loves dry-martinis any alcohol for that matter and can't find the right women. He loves Lois but is best friends with Peter. He cares in a non-gay way about Stewie as shown in the episode "Brian And Stewie". Brian also has once eaten all the shit Stewie made in his diaper in the same episode. Once Brian had dusted off his brown and green dinner he proceded to dessert, a big puddle of Stewie's vomit. Stewie then forced Brian to cross the line by "cleaning" Stewie probably saw it as a rimjob Stewies poo-stained ass. Unfortunatly for poor Brian, Stewie can be heard letting go a big wet fart while Brian lapped up his brown asshole. The poor dog can be seen stressing over it for most of the episode. But at the end Brian and Stewie confess they have both care about one enother, with Brian seen as a father figure to Stewie.

Brian Griffin is the BEST character on Family Guy!

by ghorg August 23, 2010

Brian Griffin

A pretentious douchebag of a dog who always thinks highly of himself and considers himself an intellectual when really the world would be better off without him. He has no consideration or respect for anyone whatsoever, and will go at lengths to try to impress everyone around him, thinking he'll be accepted, but fails to come to terms with the fact that he is a nobody. First of all, he usually tries to hit on Lois every chance he gets, even though she's already married. It also shows due to the fact that Peter does everything for him, even saving him when he was a stray and bringing him into his house, and that proves it. He constantly shits all over the Griffins' yard, which is all he is ever good for as a dog, and he gives people herpes. Along with that, he thinks he deserves Lois more than Peter, due to her husband neglecting her to do other things and that they have more in common, yet he is completely ignorant to the fact that she doesn't want him. Brian Griffin is also not a trustworthy dog and never pays for shit, and when he is asked to do so, he promises to pay later, but really, he fails to keep his promises. No wonder why he stays at Peter's house. Among other problems, Brian is always egotistical and thinks he is the smartest, most deserving, most charming dog in the world when in reality he is none of these, in fact he is the opposite.

Part 2: He can be compared to Holden Caulfield since they both believe themselves to be profoundly smarter than most of their peers but really they are just spoiled brats, which makes it coincidental as Brian seems to idolizes him. Along with being a smug, arrogant loser who thinks he is smart, he tries to prove that he is smart by becoming a writer, but usually comes off as a rather terrible one, since he couldn't spell the word "definite" correctly. Brian Griffin also claims to be extremely liberal, but does nothing to solve problems that most other liberals complain about. Another way he tries to look cool is that he owns and drives a Toyota Prius, but even this fails as he doesn't catch onto the fact that he's a total loser. Brian is also an athiest and looks down on Christians, Jews, etc., thinking of them as idiots, when he himself is even more pathetic. He has failed college twice, but desperately puts on his facade of being an intellectual to hide this fact. When Quagmire calls him out on all of these things, he makes Brian realize the truth, and when Brian tries to make up with him, he usually just makes Quagmire's hatred towards him even worse since he is and will always be a complete nobody. The most important thing, however, is the fact that Brian put up a racist tweet about black people before watching Ride Along 3. In conclusion, I think Brian is the worst character on Family Guy I have ever seen. He is a total shitstain and should kill himself immediately.

by Quagmire2k01 August 9, 2019