Uncomplimentary term that is muttered by resentful residents/visitors of nursing homes where they feel that the establishment’
s “rules ‘n’ regulations” are so overzealously enforced/adhered to, unnecessarily dictatorial, etc., that it makes everyone feel as if they are actually being poisoned by the rules. The expression derives from the “top nine” most notorious rules that --- due to the rules’ restricting/forbidding “totally harmless” actions that really would not bother
anything if all parties involved practice moderation and maintain appropriate/responsible behavior --- cause needless difficulties and stifled feelings among the residents and their
friends/
family members who come to
see them.
The “strict-9” at many of the snooty “
big-city” nursing homes:
(1) No visitors before 9 A.
M. or after 10 P.
M.
(2) No visitor is permitted to stay overnight with a resident, even if said visitor is a quiet responsible adult family member or trusted
friend with a 100% clean criminal record.
(3) No visitors
may use the facility’
s parking lots to sleep in their cars overnight, even if it’s just for one night, if said visitors are totally quiet and responsible, and if the parking lot is otherwise empty/unused all night.
(4) No visitors are permitted to take showers, brush teeth, or otherwise make use of a resident’s washroom except to merely “answer a call of nature”, even if the resident does not mind, and if the visitor would be neat and expedient about using said washroom.
(
5) No resident
may leave the facility grounds unless accompanied by a staffperson, even if said resident is in the company of an immediate family member or trusted
friend.
(6) No resident
may be left unattended outside of the facility building, even if it’s just for a moment to allow a visitor to go use the restroom or retrieve something from his
car.
(7) No resident is permitted pets of any kind, even “quiet” and “tidy” creatures such as tropical
fish or
small birds.
(8) All residents must have their meals in the cafeteria; eating meals in rooms is forbidden.
(9) Sharing/exchanging food with your “cafeteria neighbors” is prohibited, even if said food would otherwise just be thrown away and
wasted.
