Primarily originated in the NE of England esp. Newcastle, the charva occupies the bottom rung of the social ladder, characterised by a love of garish sportswear, cheap jewelry and Dyson hoovers. Houses chacracterized by wallpaper stripey on top, flowery on bottom, separated by dado rail, with a ceiling fan. Toon Army wallpaper in bedroom. Tasteless but expensive sofa, widescreen TV and DVD on 20 year credit. Citrus coloured toaster and kettle. Holiday in Tenerife. Profoundly inarticulate.
by Jamie April 13, 2003
In-depth definition, PART TWO:
Charvae are distinct in physicality even when naked, because of their lank, gaunt, slight appearance and the look of borrowed flesh, hanging slightly loose from their bones due to their peculiar dietary habits, which lead to acute malnourishment. This gives their skin a kind of thin, translucent quality and what charvae might think of as their six-pack is actually their lower rib-cage, lending them a particularly whippet-like form. Charvae posture while clothed is still conspicuous and features numerous defects - bandy legs, bent backs and an ugly asymmetric swagger when in motion, due to one hand of the male being down their shell-suit bottoms and the hands of the female constantly pulling theirs up. The charva food-cupboard that sustains these frail bodies
comprises tinned hot-dogs, baked beans, pasta'n'sauce (for the posher ones) and may even stretch to a packet of dairylea, all bought in mountainous bulk on giro day from Netto (or maybe Morrisons if they're walking home). The charva attitude to food seems to be 'if it doesn't come in a tin, its bad for you', while fresh vegetables and fruit are considered to be 'for nonces'. White cider is the chosen beverage, which is taken several times a day at intervals, with class B drugs for added interest. Celebratory splash-out meals are had from time to time, when charvae 'get raj' at McDonalds then get mortal drunk on a fine wine, such as Lambrini, at about 2 o'clock in the afternoon. This is often the time when both male and female charvae will piss in a crowded shopping street; it is also when the males will exhibit their tiny genital sets for supposed comic effect, only to be met with a sympathetic silence.
Charvae are distinct in physicality even when naked, because of their lank, gaunt, slight appearance and the look of borrowed flesh, hanging slightly loose from their bones due to their peculiar dietary habits, which lead to acute malnourishment. This gives their skin a kind of thin, translucent quality and what charvae might think of as their six-pack is actually their lower rib-cage, lending them a particularly whippet-like form. Charvae posture while clothed is still conspicuous and features numerous defects - bandy legs, bent backs and an ugly asymmetric swagger when in motion, due to one hand of the male being down their shell-suit bottoms and the hands of the female constantly pulling theirs up. The charva food-cupboard that sustains these frail bodies
comprises tinned hot-dogs, baked beans, pasta'n'sauce (for the posher ones) and may even stretch to a packet of dairylea, all bought in mountainous bulk on giro day from Netto (or maybe Morrisons if they're walking home). The charva attitude to food seems to be 'if it doesn't come in a tin, its bad for you', while fresh vegetables and fruit are considered to be 'for nonces'. White cider is the chosen beverage, which is taken several times a day at intervals, with class B drugs for added interest. Celebratory splash-out meals are had from time to time, when charvae 'get raj' at McDonalds then get mortal drunk on a fine wine, such as Lambrini, at about 2 o'clock in the afternoon. This is often the time when both male and female charvae will piss in a crowded shopping street; it is also when the males will exhibit their tiny genital sets for supposed comic effect, only to be met with a sympathetic silence.
by evelyn waughfare November 29, 2003
In-depth definition, PART NINE:
Charvae should not be mistaken for Geordies, who are a noble, radical and propsperous people. Neither should they be mixed up with other poor or low-income people in general, or with well-meaning people with learning difficulties who try their best. Charvism is in fact a very distinct form of social disease and a good way to imagine charvae if you do not live in Newcastle is to think of remedials from school, then imagine them interbreeding in class rather than learning to read. Testament to the other Geordies' will to help lift charvae above their wretched, hopeless status was the wonderful 'Let's take a charva much, much farva' campaign of 2001, which helped to raise over £63,000 for this unfortunate forgotten group. The campaign would still persist today with the famous 'HELP A CHARVA TODAY - THEY CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES' t-shirts, but all of the kindly donated money was pissed up the wall paying for tabs, pizza and SKY once it had been chored from the campaign headquarters by charvae.
The best way to upset a charva is to laugh at their poor clothes and unfortunate looks and the best way to destroy one is either to get them beaten up by a homosexual Goth in front of a laughing crowd of children, to paint 'nonce' right across the front of their house or to post their addresses in airports as havens for asylum seekers. The ultimate fate of all charvae is to be left on Earth to devolve back into the Dark Ages of random low-tech warfare, while the rest of humanity takes to the stars.
Despite being the pathetic, doomed, non-achieving cracker-spawn of multiple generations of unwanted children, charvae do have value, as they are walking, breathing examples of the importance of birth control.
Charvae should not be mistaken for Geordies, who are a noble, radical and propsperous people. Neither should they be mixed up with other poor or low-income people in general, or with well-meaning people with learning difficulties who try their best. Charvism is in fact a very distinct form of social disease and a good way to imagine charvae if you do not live in Newcastle is to think of remedials from school, then imagine them interbreeding in class rather than learning to read. Testament to the other Geordies' will to help lift charvae above their wretched, hopeless status was the wonderful 'Let's take a charva much, much farva' campaign of 2001, which helped to raise over £63,000 for this unfortunate forgotten group. The campaign would still persist today with the famous 'HELP A CHARVA TODAY - THEY CAN'T HELP THEMSELVES' t-shirts, but all of the kindly donated money was pissed up the wall paying for tabs, pizza and SKY once it had been chored from the campaign headquarters by charvae.
The best way to upset a charva is to laugh at their poor clothes and unfortunate looks and the best way to destroy one is either to get them beaten up by a homosexual Goth in front of a laughing crowd of children, to paint 'nonce' right across the front of their house or to post their addresses in airports as havens for asylum seekers. The ultimate fate of all charvae is to be left on Earth to devolve back into the Dark Ages of random low-tech warfare, while the rest of humanity takes to the stars.
Despite being the pathetic, doomed, non-achieving cracker-spawn of multiple generations of unwanted children, charvae do have value, as they are walking, breathing examples of the importance of birth control.
A good way to imagine a charva if you haven't seen one is to think of remedials from school, then imagine them interbreeding in class rather than learning to read
by evelyn waughfare November 29, 2003
In-depth definition, PART FIVE:
The language of charvae has bewildered linguists the world over, as no-one has been able to identify its roots. It seems to consist of a constant nasal whine that sounds like 'aaaaaa', which occasionally morphs into approximations of existing English words delivered in an extended manner, very much akin to Siberian throat-singing but with an undertone of suppressed rancour. A variation of this is the machine-gun-like delivery that accompanies an amphetamine session that often features the endless repetition of the words 'proper', 'how', 'ch', 'here, man', 'shan' and 'hollible'. The usage of these amusing jazz words by non-charvae is a source of constant chagrin to the charva
The language of charvae has bewildered linguists the world over, as no-one has been able to identify its roots. It seems to consist of a constant nasal whine that sounds like 'aaaaaa', which occasionally morphs into approximations of existing English words delivered in an extended manner, very much akin to Siberian throat-singing but with an undertone of suppressed rancour. A variation of this is the machine-gun-like delivery that accompanies an amphetamine session that often features the endless repetition of the words 'proper', 'how', 'ch', 'here, man', 'shan' and 'hollible'. The usage of these amusing jazz words by non-charvae is a source of constant chagrin to the charva
by evelyn waughfare November 29, 2003
An intellectually inferior specimen often found in large herds, or parliaments, on street corners swigging cider or other cheap, alcoholic beverages accross Newcastle and the North East. Can be identified by horizontally striped (hooped) jumper, burbery cap and obscenely overpriced Rockport boots. Are racist, homophobic, and fearful of any person or persons with an intellect surpassing that of a pencil. Express fear and feelings of inadequacy through violent outbursts, normally aimed at innocent passers by. Favourite pastimes consist of drinking cider, smoking, harassing members of the public, taking drugs, shoplifting, signing on, and burning cars. Thay have a limited vocabulary which mainly consists of phrases somewhere along the lines of:- "Lend,s a taaaab", "Got ennie Shnout" and "Hu the FUCK you lucking at". Particularly inarticulate. Highest concerntrations can be found inhabitting the council estates of Newcastle. When left to their own devices, they breed.
by Fisher September 22, 2003
simply scum! even a 3 letter word is enough to overload their primitive brain cell causing a reaction such as "ere fuck off ya daft cunt for a get our gaz ta knock ya oot" who's gaz? it seems every one of em has a hard relation called gaz. at the age of 14 the average charva has a baby called chelsea or conan or what ever they can "think" of. and most seem to give their children gregs pastries or bakers oven sausage rolls "savoury dummies" as we call em. cider is now famous as charva drink and emty bottles can be found in every back street in the north east. to conclude a charva is a stuck up, drug taking luney who badly needs counciling and detox. they think they are the best but in the real world they are looked down upon as the a plague of england.
by hater of all things burberry and rock porty April 5, 2004
Charva is the romany (gypsy) word for unruly youth. Why it originates in Newcastle when there is next to no gypsies is beyond me. In my part of the north-east (Darlington) the word charva refers to gypsies as that is the correct meaning. The little tossers from Newcastle are just wannabe gypsies (fuck knows why) hence the use of the word charva to describe themselves.
Real charvas wear real burberry caps and rockports as they can afford the flash gear because they (somehow) make lots of money unlike the little wannabe rentas.
Real charvas wear real burberry caps and rockports as they can afford the flash gear because they (somehow) make lots of money unlike the little wannabe rentas.
by Mike Oxlong February 28, 2004