The plural term for the Newcastle 'charva', usually the name given to the swine-hordes of morons who make up approximately one half of the native Newcastle population. Their numbers are maintained by the inbreeding of charvae at approx 14 years old, which results in accidental pregnancy and produces the next generation of unwanted children. The prospects of being taught to use their brains, be educated, make a contribution to history, earn money, learn a trade or possess self-esteem are woefully low and means that we all feel sorry for charva under-fives. If they reach 14, then the cycle will repeat itself.
Charvae are distinct even when naked, because of their gaunt appearance and the look of borrowed flesh, hanging loose from their bones due to their peculiar dietary habits which leads them to malnourishment. The charva food-cupboard
comprises tinned hot-dogs, baked beans, pasta'n'sauce (for the posher ones)and may even stretch to a packet of dairylea, all bought in mountainous bulk on giro day from Netto (or maybe Morrisons if they're walking home.) White cider is the chosen beverage, which is taken several times a day at intervals, with class B drugs. Celebratory splash-out meals are had from time to time, when charvae 'get raj' at McDonalds.
Despite being pathetic, doomed losers and non-achievers, creatures that we all wish to help, charvae do have value, as they are walking, breathing examples of the importance of birth control.
Charvae are distinct even when naked, because of their gaunt appearance and the look of borrowed flesh, hanging loose from their bones due to their peculiar dietary habits which leads them to malnourishment. The charva food-cupboard
comprises tinned hot-dogs, baked beans, pasta'n'sauce (for the posher ones)and may even stretch to a packet of dairylea, all bought in mountainous bulk on giro day from Netto (or maybe Morrisons if they're walking home.) White cider is the chosen beverage, which is taken several times a day at intervals, with class B drugs. Celebratory splash-out meals are had from time to time, when charvae 'get raj' at McDonalds.
Despite being pathetic, doomed losers and non-achievers, creatures that we all wish to help, charvae do have value, as they are walking, breathing examples of the importance of birth control.
by evelyn wuaghfare November 23, 2003
'Charvae think they're scary and hard, but in fact they're just very, very, VERY funny' or 'charvae are like larvae, except they don't grow'
by evelyn waughfare November 24, 2003
These strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat. If there is a silverbacked charva who is superior to everyone as he has the latest Scooter album, the other charvas will form a protective ring around him.
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Charvas will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
These scourge plague the streets of most cities, but most of all Newcastle. The male of the species will have short spiked hair, and will pretend their voice is deep years before it has broken, which appears to be an effective mating call. The female of the species will wear truckloads of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. If temperatures are below -5 degrees C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips (see also: Micro Skirt)
When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burbry cap to seem more attractive. Within an hour the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and whoops!...there goes another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!
Charvas will also force themselves to start smoking at the age of about 12, which is a sign that they are "Hard" or "Belter".
Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hew man you fucking daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly more angry response is thrown at you.
No other 'race' other than their own is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not have the brain cells to understand that they are infact the worst scourge of this planet!
Lastly, they will start fights with anybody that's smaller than them, to try and make themselves feel highly superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex. The long long list could go on forever.
To sum it up, these spangle stained hooligans are a dire example of Darwin's "Survival of the fittest" and are a complete waste of space, carbon lifeform, and tax payers money!
by Peter Adams January 6, 2004
A charva (sngl) is a person that has a very low IQ, a very limited vocabulary and a very low status on the social ladder of the United Kingdom. Charvers (pl)originally from the North East reigon of England (eg Newcastle, Sunderland & Middlesbrough) plague the streets of these cities in large groups as it it the only way for them to gather any remote intelligence of their species as indivaidual charvers only have a fraction of a brain-cell within them.
This inferior species of mankind are set in the ways of trying to destroy themselves by taking drugs, drinking cheap alchol such as cider, by smoking. Charvers also put the lives of other people at stake as well as the have a habit of stealing cars (particularly old models of nissans and fords as well as transit vans) and driving them at unsafe velocities until the crash which then causes their inferior minds to contemplate setting the car or van alight as they believe it is a good idea and fun.
Should you run into a charva or a group of charvers (otherwise known as a crew) you are likely to be asked a question in the language of the charva that is almost impossible to understand. At the most a charva may be able to make a barley co-herient sentence such as "Lens 'is a tab" or " Hu you think ur lukin at, ye want bangin out"
Charvers dispise anyone who shows any signs of individuality. They can only tolerate being around people who dress like them. The typical charver clothing consists of a horizontally striped fred perry jumper, tracksuit bottoms, over priced hiking boots named rockports and overpriced waterproof coats called berghaus's.
Should you come across any of these poor, socially retarded, exuses of human beings it is recommended that you do not make eye contact and that you walk away as if they detect any eye contact between you and them they will look to pick a fight with you.
This inferior species of mankind are set in the ways of trying to destroy themselves by taking drugs, drinking cheap alchol such as cider, by smoking. Charvers also put the lives of other people at stake as well as the have a habit of stealing cars (particularly old models of nissans and fords as well as transit vans) and driving them at unsafe velocities until the crash which then causes their inferior minds to contemplate setting the car or van alight as they believe it is a good idea and fun.
Should you run into a charva or a group of charvers (otherwise known as a crew) you are likely to be asked a question in the language of the charva that is almost impossible to understand. At the most a charva may be able to make a barley co-herient sentence such as "Lens 'is a tab" or " Hu you think ur lukin at, ye want bangin out"
Charvers dispise anyone who shows any signs of individuality. They can only tolerate being around people who dress like them. The typical charver clothing consists of a horizontally striped fred perry jumper, tracksuit bottoms, over priced hiking boots named rockports and overpriced waterproof coats called berghaus's.
Should you come across any of these poor, socially retarded, exuses of human beings it is recommended that you do not make eye contact and that you walk away as if they detect any eye contact between you and them they will look to pick a fight with you.
The view on charvers in many north eastern cities of the UK is that they are a waste of time, space, money and resources and that they only exist as a plague of todays modern day society.
by wildthing June 29, 2004
charvas are a bunch of radgies that do nowt except drink bella, smoke small quantities of cannabis (they claim it's much more) and walk round thinkin' thjey're great coz they wear top label gear (all stolen). thay also think "new monkey" tunes are mint, when it's quite obvious that it's all shite
by lol pmsl lmfao June 1, 2004
charvas are a group/ kind of people. they like to get pissed, say fuck, get pregnant and do anything illegal. charvas have no brains and many cannot count to 10. they stop at number 9 because that's the amount of children they have had by the age of 15. as you have probably already read, charvas like to wear "trackie b's" "rockie b's" and the ever popular tog 24 coats. most charvas die at the age of 32 due to lung cancer, (their own fault for starting smoking at the age of 11) charvas often hang around in large groups because that way they feel "hard" the only thing that's hard is a charva boys you know what when he sees a charva girl in her skin tight jeans with a bottle of cider in her hand. shazzam, a baby charva is made. charva babies are the worst babies. they are the kind of children who will be amazed at a plank of wood for hours, oh, just like dad. as you may have already noticed, i hate charvas. however, if you are a charva you probably hadn't noticed because you are all a bunch of thick shits who deserve to be shot! thank you for making my high school years a misery! (note to charvas: i was being sarcastic) that word says sarcastic. repeat after me sar-ca-s-tic. now go and tell your mammy you learnt a new word, how was her 17th birthday?!
charva sayings:
"wot yee fuckin lookin at yee fuckin cunt?"
"how"
"who fucks like a fish?"
"will you tie mee shoe lace for is... how?"
"wot yee fuckin lookin at yee fuckin cunt?"
"how"
"who fucks like a fish?"
"will you tie mee shoe lace for is... how?"
by anti-charve March 6, 2004
In-depth definition, PART ONE:
CHARVA - Noun, usually the name given to the swine-hordes of unwanted bastard children who make up approximately one quarter of the native Newcastle population. The word is constructed through the corruption of the term CHARmless VAgrant. Their numbers are maintained by the inbreeding of charvae at approx 14 years old, which results in accidental pregnancy and produces the next generation of unloved barking cabbages. Because of the rapidly shrinking gene-pool that creates charvae, vital DNA-codes are being lost and quality is being dumped in favour of quantity. The prospects of being taught to use their brains, of being educated, of making a contribution to history, of earning money, of learning at least one skill, of manipulating their environment, of producing art or of ever being possessed of self-esteem are woefully low and this means that we all feel a strong pathos for charva under-fives. The charva learning curve is actually unique in the whole world, peaking as it does at 6 years old. This is mirrored in their physical development, which hits a ceiling of about 5 feet 5 inches for males and 4 feet 9 inches for charvettes, occasionally delivering us a towering giant of 5 foot 10. If they reach 14, then the whole cycle will repeat itself in an ever-growing downward spiral. Because of this accelerated procreation rate, charva girls are actually beginning to be BORN pregnant.
CHARVA - Noun, usually the name given to the swine-hordes of unwanted bastard children who make up approximately one quarter of the native Newcastle population. The word is constructed through the corruption of the term CHARmless VAgrant. Their numbers are maintained by the inbreeding of charvae at approx 14 years old, which results in accidental pregnancy and produces the next generation of unloved barking cabbages. Because of the rapidly shrinking gene-pool that creates charvae, vital DNA-codes are being lost and quality is being dumped in favour of quantity. The prospects of being taught to use their brains, of being educated, of making a contribution to history, of earning money, of learning at least one skill, of manipulating their environment, of producing art or of ever being possessed of self-esteem are woefully low and this means that we all feel a strong pathos for charva under-fives. The charva learning curve is actually unique in the whole world, peaking as it does at 6 years old. This is mirrored in their physical development, which hits a ceiling of about 5 feet 5 inches for males and 4 feet 9 inches for charvettes, occasionally delivering us a towering giant of 5 foot 10. If they reach 14, then the whole cycle will repeat itself in an ever-growing downward spiral. Because of this accelerated procreation rate, charva girls are actually beginning to be BORN pregnant.
by evelyn waughfare November 29, 2003