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Comb Beard Man 

One of many aliases used by respected student journalist A.R.

The disparity between the behavior of A.R. and the flamboyant, raucous, bawdy antics of Comb Beard Man has lead many experts to argue that dissociative identity disorder is at play here.

Like the alternate persona of ‘Steve’ in the case of Kenneth “Hillside Strangler” Bianchi, the Comb Beard Man persona may become dominant at certain times and commit acts that A.R. is quite unaware of.

Sources close to A.R. describe him as hardworking, shy, demure and humble. All-around, a professional newsman.

Comb Beard Man, on the other hand, is known to have a comb perpetually dangling from his beard, smoke Cuban cigars, partake in episodes of drunken debauchery (including but not limited to: drinking openly in a university classroom, drinking openly in university public areas, shooting beans and liquor simultaneously, etc.), associate with known communists, commit petty theft (mostly of mints or plates), wander about the community pantsless, and defile stuffed animals. There are also indications that Comb Beard Man may be a major figure in the operation of a local ‘Sex Farm’.

There is currently not enough data to determine whether each of A.R.’s other aliases (ex.: Captain Carlsburg) is a distinct personality. Further research is necessary.
"The first time that I seriously doubted the notion of a kind and loving God was when I saw Comb Beard Man with his pants around his ankles"
Comb Beard Man by Parmenides August 7, 2003

hand to man combat 

to beat off, materbate or pull wang
dude 1: I think i am going to slam some ham.
dude 2: what?
dude 1: You know a little hand to man combat.
hand to man combat by Jaylo650 August 2, 2009

man to hand combat 

I was so horny I had some intense man to hand combat!

Man-To-Hand Combat 

Jerking off, Choking the Bishop, Yanking your dick until jizz squirts out.
"download 7 terabytes of porn. Prepare for Man-To-Hand Combat!" Chris Cabrera
Man-To-Hand Combat by Andrew Rojas December 11, 2010

Man to Gland Combat 

When you're trying to discreetly trying to masterbate in the bathroom and someone knocks on the door.
"Tom hurry up! I need to use the bathroom"

"Hold on Zack, I'm just engaging in some man to gland combat,
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026