friend of bob's definitions

The worst thing you can call someone

If target is male: baby dick
If target is female: (there are far too many insults that can send any member of the female gender into wild fenzy of violent rage)

You: Hey there, friend of bob, I mean "baby dick".
Me: YOU BASTARD!!!!! (walks away in shame)

Me: Hey there, (random female).
Female: (ignores and walks way, usually finding someone more attractive)

by friend of bob June 11, 2006

Joan of Arc

French woman existing during the late Medieval era with purported abilities to articulate holy messages and warfare manuevers via liaison with a spiritual entity heavily favoring France at this particular time. Contemporary theories maintain Joan as shizoprenic.

I wonder if Joan of Arc was hot.

by friend of bob July 17, 2004

bad pickup lines

Speech device primarily employed by two factions of mankind: the truly pathetic and amateur comedians. Origins have been disputed, but it is widely thought that pickup lines, once upon a magical time, could win pussy if chanted with remarkable charisma and authenticity. Thanks to the combination of inevitability and human stupidity, pickup lines degraded into verses that invoke either uproarious laughter or further inalienation, but not the throes of sex.

Got a library card? Because I'm checking you out.

I scraped my knees falling for you.

You're like a box of Lucky Charms: you're magically delicious.

Got a gym card? Because you've been giving my mind a workout.

I lost my number. Can I have yours?

You sound tired. Wanna sleep with me?

Hey there. (use Clint Eastwood impression)

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

moogle

Catlike creature. Has a large red ball on its head attached by a long hair. Some can fly. Some can fight. Some are lazy bastards. All say kupo.

I hope to resurrected as moogle during a different life time.

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

jail gum

One of many creative innovations that can be found amongst inmates in juvenile detention. Made by applying small dabs of toothpaste on each corner of a square of toilet paper, then folding the square into a smaller and more condensed version of itself, and finally dampening it with water. It has vaguely similar properties of real chewing gum and the toothpaste adds a rather cheap taste of mint.

I tried some of this stuff and laughed my ass off as to why someone would ever want to make this.

by friend of bob May 21, 2004

douchebag

A description that fits nearly every teenager who conforms monotonously to popular culture. Often known for their tendency to have low individuality and severe intolerance for those that exhibit different behavior. Note: The best location to study the ridiculous patterns of douchebags is your local mall.

That dude is such a douchebag....

by friend of bob May 15, 2004

I see pussy!!

A common cry during my incipient stages of marijuana smoking. I would often hallucinate the female fun part everywhere I went, especially when gazing at star constellations (somehow they all ended up merging into one large vagina). Sadly ironic because I have yet to see a real one (except in porn, of course).

Me:HAHAHAHA..hahaha..HAHAHAHAHA
Other person: What?
Me: I SEE PUSSY!!!

by friend of bob June 15, 2004