friend of bob's definitions

rifle report

The sound of dumping on some fools.

We blasted those niggas until the rifle report was heard by my beyatch.

by friend of bob June 13, 2004

The worst thing you can call someone

If target is male: baby dick
If target is female: (there are far too many insults that can send any member of the female gender into wild fenzy of violent rage)

You: Hey there, friend of bob, I mean "baby dick".
Me: YOU BASTARD!!!!! (walks away in shame)

Me: Hey there, (random female).
Female: (ignores and walks way, usually finding someone more attractive)

by friend of bob June 11, 2006

taking a mean one

Expelling feces in an explosive or painful matter.

Hey boss. Can I take the day off? I have to take a mean one.

by friend of bob June 13, 2004

The Catcher in the Rye

A novel which many people of the world should avoid reading, as they simply would not understand the meaning of the word "phony", a word which is repeated several times throughout the book.

I thought about being a catcher in the rye, but I don't really like people that much so I thought I'd just let them fly off the cliff.

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

Simple Plan

Attention all preps, attention all preps. Humans (a very interesting species of life capable of intellect, unlike the zombie-like preppies)do not like Simple Plan for two reasons: their musical artistry is below average at best and worse, they are popular, indicating the eventual downfall of humanity. You preppies and punk/skater posers need to understand that MTV is taking a giant shit on you and you lick it up like ice cream. Its quite disturbing to see other quasi-life forms indulge themselves in what is essentially raw sewage. But then again, its a bit amusing...

Simple Plan maintains a complex thought process behind their songs: play simple-minded music and simple-minded beings will buy it, i.e. preppies.

by friend of bob May 15, 2004

loneliness

You know it becomes really bad when you start posting definitions of it on a website in hopes of someone reading it. I can only recommend two things. Find some new friends. Or find none at all, and eventually you'll get used to it. I've tried both, and I can't really say which one is better than the other.

Music recommendations: Aimee Mann, Alice in Chains, Dishwalla, Pink Floyd (Pulse). Get a job. Smoke weed. Drink. Smoke cigarettes. If you're depending on something else other than a lost love or friends, you won't need them as much. But there always be a little but of pain...

by friend of bob June 13, 2004

bad pickup lines

Speech device primarily employed by two factions of mankind: the truly pathetic and amateur comedians. Origins have been disputed, but it is widely thought that pickup lines, once upon a magical time, could win pussy if chanted with remarkable charisma and authenticity. Thanks to the combination of inevitability and human stupidity, pickup lines degraded into verses that invoke either uproarious laughter or further inalienation, but not the throes of sex.

Got a library card? Because I'm checking you out.

I scraped my knees falling for you.

You're like a box of Lucky Charms: you're magically delicious.

Got a gym card? Because you've been giving my mind a workout.

I lost my number. Can I have yours?

You sound tired. Wanna sleep with me?

Hey there. (use Clint Eastwood impression)

by friend of bob June 15, 2004