friend of bob's definitions

Simple Plan

Attention all preps, attention all preps. Humans (a very interesting species of life capable of intellect, unlike the zombie-like preppies)do not like Simple Plan for two reasons: their musical artistry is below average at best and worse, they are popular, indicating the eventual downfall of humanity. You preppies and punk/skater posers need to understand that MTV is taking a giant shit on you and you lick it up like ice cream. Its quite disturbing to see other quasi-life forms indulge themselves in what is essentially raw sewage. But then again, its a bit amusing...

Simple Plan maintains a complex thought process behind their songs: play simple-minded music and simple-minded beings will buy it, i.e. preppies.

by friend of bob May 15, 2004

The Catcher in the Rye

A novel which many people of the world should avoid reading, as they simply would not understand the meaning of the word "phony", a word which is repeated several times throughout the book.

I thought about being a catcher in the rye, but I don't really like people that much so I thought I'd just let them fly off the cliff.

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

belligerent

Inebriated. You know, drunk off your ass. Drunk enough to fuck tub girl (while she's in her famous "pose"). Drunk enough to chain smoke an entire pack of cigarettes and then immediately forget that you've even had any. Very, very, very, very, very drunk.

Uh oh. Looks like he's already belligerent.

by friend of bob May 18, 2004

taking a mean one

Expelling feces in an explosive or painful matter.

Hey boss. Can I take the day off? I have to take a mean one.

by friend of bob June 13, 2004

work

To perform an action with notable skill (not necessarily your job).

I can work a chessboard.

I can work Halo.

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

dodgy

British counterpart of the U.S. slang shady

I find it a wee-bit dodgy

by friend of bob May 18, 2004

bad pickup lines

Speech device primarily employed by two factions of mankind: the truly pathetic and amateur comedians. Origins have been disputed, but it is widely thought that pickup lines, once upon a magical time, could win pussy if chanted with remarkable charisma and authenticity. Thanks to the combination of inevitability and human stupidity, pickup lines degraded into verses that invoke either uproarious laughter or further inalienation, but not the throes of sex.

Got a library card? Because I'm checking you out.

I scraped my knees falling for you.

You're like a box of Lucky Charms: you're magically delicious.

Got a gym card? Because you've been giving my mind a workout.

I lost my number. Can I have yours?

You sound tired. Wanna sleep with me?

Hey there. (use Clint Eastwood impression)

by friend of bob June 15, 2004