friend of bob's definitions

jail gum

One of many creative innovations that can be found amongst inmates in juvenile detention. Made by applying small dabs of toothpaste on each corner of a square of toilet paper, then folding the square into a smaller and more condensed version of itself, and finally dampening it with water. It has vaguely similar properties of real chewing gum and the toothpaste adds a rather cheap taste of mint.

I tried some of this stuff and laughed my ass off as to why someone would ever want to make this.

by friend of bob May 21, 2004

chain smoking

A cycle in which one smokes a cigarette and then lights up another as soon as the first one is finished. The only limit is how many cigarettes you have on hand.

You can usually find me chain smoking when I'm utterly stoned or drunk (or both), terribly bored, or just in that mood to smoke.

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

douchebag

A description that fits nearly every teenager who conforms monotonously to popular culture. Often known for their tendency to have low individuality and severe intolerance for those that exhibit different behavior. Note: The best location to study the ridiculous patterns of douchebags is your local mall.

That dude is such a douchebag....

by friend of bob May 15, 2004

virgin queen

A particular chess piece (the Queen) which remains untouched at the end of a game.

I was a beat by an opponent with a virgin queen.

by friend of bob July 14, 2004

bad pickup lines

Speech device primarily employed by two factions of mankind: the truly pathetic and amateur comedians. Origins have been disputed, but it is widely thought that pickup lines, once upon a magical time, could win pussy if chanted with remarkable charisma and authenticity. Thanks to the combination of inevitability and human stupidity, pickup lines degraded into verses that invoke either uproarious laughter or further inalienation, but not the throes of sex.

Got a library card? Because I'm checking you out.

I scraped my knees falling for you.

You're like a box of Lucky Charms: you're magically delicious.

Got a gym card? Because you've been giving my mind a workout.

I lost my number. Can I have yours?

You sound tired. Wanna sleep with me?

Hey there. (use Clint Eastwood impression)

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

moogle

Catlike creature. Has a large red ball on its head attached by a long hair. Some can fly. Some can fight. Some are lazy bastards. All say kupo.

I hope to resurrected as moogle during a different life time.

by friend of bob June 15, 2004

sexual harassment

Like many things, this phrase was once pure and clear. The term has now degenerated into an overwhelmingly broad range of actions often determined by zealous feminists to be an inappropriate sexual advance.

Me: Hi there, Sarah.
Sarah: Excuse me?! Who the hell do you think you are?!
Me: Uh....
Sarah: I'll see you in court, buddy!

by friend of bob June 15, 2004