al-in-chgo's definitions

get my knob polished

When a male submits his penis for oral sex (fellatio). "Knob" is a slang word or euphemism for head of the penis (glans); "get polished" (polished) implies agitation or rubbing, in this case full sexual excitation of the dick head.

When the male's penis head is swollen or engorged by oral sex, he has had his knob polished. In actuality, though, "get my knob polished" has come to mean "get a blow job" with the hope of orgasm included.

The term is not to be confused with "dip my wick," another penile reference that usually implies penile-vaginal or even penile-anal sex.

A person who does not orally polish the knob but instead leaves it messy with saliva and/or pre-ejaculate is a knob slob.

1. --"I want to get my knob polished soooo bad!"

--"Don't look at me, bro. Find your own head."

2. --"I like to polish his knob 'til it's real shiny and red!" - one of the "two gay guys from Jersey" (Fred Armisen, Bill Haider) on TV show Saturday Night Live.

by al-in-chgo June 16, 2011

junk shot

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A photograph of a male nude showing all his exterior genitalia explicitly, full frontal. This is often referred to as "the full Monty", but that term's chief reference is to male-stripper performances, while "junk shot" refers specifically to photographs or videos.

"Junk" has been slang for "penis and testicles" for a number of years, and "shot" in this sense refers to photography.

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"You know that famous nude magazine for straight women and gay men? Levi Johnston disappointed me. He was the main article, but no junk shot of any kind. The centerfold had him showing his bottom."

"Bummer. Pun very much intended."

.

by al-in-chgo March 12, 2010

London Flog

The urban practice wherein a man strolls the streets, fully clothed and in a belted trench coat, and slowly but covertly, though a side pocket, masturbates himself in the presence of fellow pedestrians and pasers-by. The benefit of the act is sometimes claimed to be expediency, but more likely is the ability to "get away with it," especially when ejacualation is achieved but not revealed.

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"Why do you say Geoff's a wanker?" -- "I mean, literally, man. I ran into him on Halsted and he had just done a complete London Flog."

"How could you tell?" -- "Well, partly by the refreshed happy-ending look on his face, but mostly by the stain he had made on his trench coat below the buckle."

"Ewww . . . well, at least he kept it in his pants."

by al-in-chgo March 20, 2011

kibble

(From the meat-like chunks given to pets): Something nearly worthless or valueless.

He doesn't know what he's saying and just talks a lot of kibble.

by al-in-chgo March 28, 2022

horses and bayonets

Barack Obama's flippant reponse to Mitt Romney's complaint during their third televised debate (October 22, 2012) that the U.S. Navy had fewer battleships than at any time since 1917. Obama's remark that the military has fewer "horses and bayonets, too" makes an analogy that measuring battleships (as opposed to aircraft carriers) is an archaic metric of military power, in much the same way that measuring "horses and bayonets" would no longer indicate an army's might. (NB: Marines are still issued bayonets.)

"The Navy has fewer battleships than at any time since 1917."

"The military has fewer horses and bayonets, too. We live in a different world."

by al-in-chgo October 23, 2012

eight inches

An erect penis length that about one out of fifty men has, but about one out of ten claims.

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Q: What's a Gay Eight?

A: Six inches.

Q: OK, so what's a genuine eight inches?

A: No one I know (sighs).

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by al-in-chgo May 16, 2010

Clappertrap

Bleats of wounded outrage in a tone of arrogant moral superiority from those who have trashed our civil liberties.

Named for James Clapper, head of NSA.

"The President says we weren't informed that our phone records were secretly being turned over to the FBI because we didn't need to know."

"What utter Clappertrap."

by al-in-chgo June 7, 2013