al-in-chgo's definitions

tuchus oyfn tish

Pronounced "TOOK-us OY-f'n tish." Many variant spellings. Literally "ass on the table," it's a Yiddish phrase meaning a serious atmosphere for talk or negotiation. Closest US-English equivalents are probably "No BS" or "(Let's get down to) brass tacks." Often used in a tone of exasperation. Generally recommended for use within members of the same sex.

"Elliot, come into the dining room. We need to make travel plans NOW or they won't get done."

"But Uncle Bernie, the game starts in half an hour."

"Plenty of time if you stop fooling around. Cmon: tuchus oyfn tish."

by al-in-chgo December 24, 2013

get my knob polished

When a male submits his penis for oral sex (fellatio). "Knob" is a slang word or euphemism for head of the penis (glans); "get polished" (polished) implies agitation or rubbing, in this case full sexual excitation of the dick head.

When the male's penis head is swollen or engorged by oral sex, he has had his knob polished. In actuality, though, "get my knob polished" has come to mean "get a blow job" with the hope of orgasm included.

The term is not to be confused with "dip my wick," another penile reference that usually implies penile-vaginal or even penile-anal sex.

A person who does not orally polish the knob but instead leaves it messy with saliva and/or pre-ejaculate is a knob slob.

1. --"I want to get my knob polished soooo bad!"

--"Don't look at me, bro. Find your own head."

2. --"I like to polish his knob 'til it's real shiny and red!" - one of the "two gay guys from Jersey" (Fred Armisen, Bill Haider) on TV show Saturday Night Live.

by al-in-chgo June 16, 2011

horses and bayonets

Barack Obama's flippant reponse to Mitt Romney's complaint during their third televised debate (October 22, 2012) that the U.S. Navy had fewer battleships than at any time since 1917. Obama's remark that the military has fewer "horses and bayonets, too" makes an analogy that measuring battleships (as opposed to aircraft carriers) is an archaic metric of military power, in much the same way that measuring "horses and bayonets" would no longer indicate an army's might. (NB: Marines are still issued bayonets.)

"The Navy has fewer battleships than at any time since 1917."

"The military has fewer horses and bayonets, too. We live in a different world."

by al-in-chgo October 23, 2012

kibble

(From the meat-like chunks given to pets): Something nearly worthless or valueless.

He doesn't know what he's saying and just talks a lot of kibble.

by al-in-chgo March 28, 2022

Murse

A Male nURSE. Often used within the industry to refer to nurses who are male.

"Joe doesn't like the term "male nurse"; he says it's old-fashioned."

"So what then?"

"Murse."

by al-in-chgo May 14, 2016

Utah fry sauce

Utah fry sauce (also "fry sauce") is a mixture of mayonnaise and ketchup in a 2:1 ratio generally meant for dipping french fries and onion rings, although it can be put on hamburgers. It is attributed to the Utah-based fast-food chain Arctic Circle ca. 1948. However, it also resembles a simplified version of pre-existing Thousand Island dressing. According to Wikipedia, similar sauces are widely known elsewhere, including "mayoketchup" in Puerto Rico, "Burger Sauce," "Pink Sauce" (also "Salsa Rosada" in S. American countries), even "Cockteilsauce."

Provo drive-through loudspeaker: "Would you like _eye _oss with that, Sir?"

Out-of-town customer: "What?"

Loudspeaker: "Utah fry sauce, Sir? Or maybe you'd prefer ketchup? ... Or both?"

Out-of-town customer: "That's fine, thanks."

by al-in-chgo April 28, 2014

tumescence

The process of erection in a man, whereby his penis gets stiffer and larger, and sometimes points away from the body at an angle.

Adjective form: "tumescent."

After sexual outlet, the reverse process is called "detumescence" (see listing).

.

"It was a pretty normal tumescence, but it took longer than usual."

"Maybe you've been having too much sex. Or it's just a consequence of getting older."

.

by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010