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al-in-chgo's definitions

Ruh-roh

A Hanna-Barbera canine cartoon saying for "Uh-oh," beginning with THE JETSONS' Astro (1962) and continuing with Scooby-Doo in the Seventies.

Astro tended to speak a kind of English except that words with beginning consonants were replaced with an "R," and "R" was inserted in front of vowels.

Scooby-Doo was less fluent, but was given "Ruh-roh" as a kind of running gag when things were going bad.

Now "Ruh-roh" is sometimes used as a jocular trope where dogs are concerned, as in a recent news story about a dog who was accidentally released by Air Canada from his cage at the San Francisco airport. Rough meaning: "I goofed" or "I'm in trouble."
"Astro, if you don't stop that you're going to be in big trouble."

"Ruh-roh."

"Alright Astro, you asked for it, no outdoor privileges all weekend."

"Raw, Rorge!"
by al-in-chgo October 11, 2013
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Solo Aviator Division

Stands for "Mile-High Club - Solo Aviator Division."

Means jacking off on an airplane in flight. Usually done in toilet cubicle or underneath an airplane blanket. An elaboration on Mile High Club that has long meant sexual congress on an airplane.

Abbreviation: "SAD."

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"You mean some people are so hot to join the Mile High Club that they'll fly solo?"

"You mean, join the Solo Aviator Division? That's SAD! (chuckles). As a flight attendant, I see all sorts of things, like splooge in the unisex toilets the last visitor didn't even clean up. And you wouldn't believe what goes on under those airline blankets."

"Yuck! Now I know why they're so skanky. Thanks for the warning."

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by al-in-chgo March 7, 2010
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Mutual Fund

Typically a Mutual Fund is an investment fund aimed at individual investors sponsored by an investment (or "mutual fund") house like Fidelity, Vanguard or T. Rowe Price. Each fund holds a "market basket" of stocks or bonds and individual investors buy into the fund by buying a share at "Net Asset Value," which is the total worth of the fund's holdings, calculated every day, divided by the number of shares outstanding. In other words, a mutual fund whose portfolio (value of all holdings) is worth a million dollars that has a hundred thousand shares outstanding will value those shares at ten dollars apiece. A typical stock-based mutual fund can earn its investors money in three ways: the dividends and capital gains that stocks pay out, and possible appreciation of the fund value per share.

For an individual investor, the advantage of owning a mutual fund is that s/he achieves diversity -- mutual funds own more than fifty stocks, on average -- that could not be achieved by buying a typical hundred shares of stock in only a few corporations. The disadvantages of such funds are that the "load" (sales commission) involved in buying or selling such funds can be considerable, and all funds incur some sort of service fees; that's how the investment house earns its money. Also, no "equity" or stock-based investment is guaranteed.
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"My broker wants me to buy shares in something called an "open-end fund" but I don't know what that means."

"That's just a way to describe the majority of mutual funds, which remain open to all new investors who have the money to invest in them."

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by al-in-chgo March 25, 2010
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tumescence

The process of erection in a man, whereby his penis gets stiffer and larger, and sometimes points away from the body at an angle.

Adjective form: "tumescent."

After sexual outlet, the reverse process is called "detumescence" (see listing).

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"It was a pretty normal tumescence, but it took longer than usual."

"Maybe you've been having too much sex. Or it's just a consequence of getting older."

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by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
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horseplay

Roughousing, sometimes mock-wrestling, usually between two boys of similar age. "Horseplay" at first glance looks like actual fighting or wrestling until the more playful "fooling around" element become visible, but horseplay sometimes can deteriorate into real fighting.

A Midwestern urban regionalism means the same but includes a "get your back" connotation: grabass. No one considers that homoerotic.
"I told you, boys, no horseplay standing in line. You're not getting into the theater if you don't stop fooling around like that."
by al-in-chgo August 18, 2010
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turd in the punch bowl

1. Southernism. Adds a certain repugnance to describe an idea, remark or occurrence that fell flat, killed conversation, was socially unacceptable, or went over like the proverbial lead balloon.

2. Similarly, a gauche, socially inept or unwelcome person who has a stultifying effect on social gatherings, or, by extension, was involved in some futile or hugely unpopular effort.
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1. -- "All I did was tell one harmless little dirty joke and the whole room went silent. Apparently I had crossed some kind of taboo. No one even chuckled at the joke; it was a veritable turd in the punchbowl. I felt like one too, since the whole party immediately seized up and everyone stared at me."

2.(a) -- "There we were discussing local politics, and who shows up uninvited and parks himself right in the middle of our group? Little Georgie, the mayor's brat, who has an unerring sense of inappropriateness. I'd rather see a turd in the punch bowl than have to deal with that nuisance."

(b) "Practically everyone in town was in favor of a weeknight youth curfew, but as usual our "freethinking" pastor went contrary and opposed it. He didn't change anyone's mind. I think he's a jinx! A turd in the punch bowl of civic affairs."
by al-in-chgo February 28, 2010
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Piss Hard-On

Piss Hard-On (or Hardon):

A graphic way to describe the male condition of waking up with a very stiff erection coupled with a need to urinate.

The leading causes of this syndrome are thought to be:

1) a full bladder rubs against the prostate gland which then arouses the rest of a man's sexual machinery as though getting ready for intercourse; or the more recent theory, that

2) during a routine night's sleep, a man will have four or five erections but usually they don't awaken him. This is probably the body's way of running "routine diagnostic checks" on his various systems, including sexual readiness. The one that wakes you up either because it's time to wake up or because you're dying to go to the bathroom is the P.H-O.
I hate the term "Piss Hard-On". It's ugly. Much better to me are "morning wood" or the evocative "morning glory," which is the term we used in the (USA) South.

For a funny look at how difficult it is to pee with an erection, look at the DVD outtakes of Steve Carrel's movie THE FORTY-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN.
by al-in-chgo February 24, 2010
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