al-in-chgo's definitions
"Suck On My Cock" is a satirical Christmas send-up, lyrics written by Pacific Northwest shock jock and prolific parodist Bob Rivers and based on the tune of the bestselling "Jingle Bell Rock" by Bobby Helms (1957).
With himself as singer, "Suck On My Cock" was released as part of a Rivers Christmastime satiric CD, and in 2007 as part of Rivers' CD "Rated X Max." Rivers' lyrics graphically recount in first-person the experience of receiving a full and complete act of fellatio by his (possibly) unwilling partner and makes ample use of "Jingle Bell Rock's" tune, multiple stanzas, choruses and chord changes.
The song is offensive, obscene, and politically incorrect but very funny to those who like no-holds-barred satire. It has been covered often in the ensuing years by Matt Rogers and other singers. Downloadable sung versions and lyrics are not difficult to find on the Internet, though good copies of the prior CD releases command a huge premium in the online used-disc market.
If live versions are included, it is hard to measure how high "Suck On My Cock" ranks in Rivers' ample songbook, but it appears to be shaping up as a "guilty" Christmas pleasure along with many of his other Yuletide parodies, such as "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear" and "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire."
Bob Rivers asserts that he still owns copyright to the lyrics.
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With himself as singer, "Suck On My Cock" was released as part of a Rivers Christmastime satiric CD, and in 2007 as part of Rivers' CD "Rated X Max." Rivers' lyrics graphically recount in first-person the experience of receiving a full and complete act of fellatio by his (possibly) unwilling partner and makes ample use of "Jingle Bell Rock's" tune, multiple stanzas, choruses and chord changes.
The song is offensive, obscene, and politically incorrect but very funny to those who like no-holds-barred satire. It has been covered often in the ensuing years by Matt Rogers and other singers. Downloadable sung versions and lyrics are not difficult to find on the Internet, though good copies of the prior CD releases command a huge premium in the online used-disc market.
If live versions are included, it is hard to measure how high "Suck On My Cock" ranks in Rivers' ample songbook, but it appears to be shaping up as a "guilty" Christmas pleasure along with many of his other Yuletide parodies, such as "Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear" and "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire."
Bob Rivers asserts that he still owns copyright to the lyrics.
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-- "God, I couldn't believe it when the band began to play "Jingle Bell Rock" and the singer started off with 'Stroke on my, lick on my, suck on my cock..."
-- "Yeah, hardcore! But it was pretty late and I don't think people minded "blue" material. Hope you listened up, 'cuz I bet the band won't play it for another 364 days."
-- "Yeah OK, fool, but cyberspace never forgets."
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-- "Yeah, hardcore! But it was pretty late and I don't think people minded "blue" material. Hope you listened up, 'cuz I bet the band won't play it for another 364 days."
-- "Yeah OK, fool, but cyberspace never forgets."
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by al-in-chgo October 30, 2010
Get the Suck On My Cock mug.The late Chicago journalist and author Mike Royko (BOSS) said that loving Chicago was like loving a beautiful woman with a broken nose: once you're used to her, other merely beautiful women don't quite look right.
Some of the "broken noses" of Chicago:
1. North Side pro baseball team, the Cubs, who perpetuate an execrable win/losss record but are nonetheless idolized as the "cubbies";
2. Weather: coldest major American city other than Minneapolis, snowiest outside Buffalo, steamiest summers outside the Mississippi River Valley or Deep South. Winter days are so short that evening rush occurs in the dark. Even on the best spring days, "San Francisco sweater weather" is practically nonexistent.
3. Political corruption, which is awesome due to its extent, its reach, its resourcesfulness and the apathy with which it is greated by most Chicagoans.
more pleasant phenomena of Chicago that still have a slight eccentric or "broken nose" quality:
1. Italian beef, which is roast been marinated in gravy, garlic and giardinera, served on Italian-crust sandwich bread, and almost unobtainable outside Chicago.
2. the conviction (and it still actually works) that if you place old dinette chairs in the spot from which you just extricated your hitherto snowbound car, that spot will be waiting for you when you get back.
3. Refusal to call the 'Willis Tower' anything other than its original name, the 'Sears Tower.'
"Is this a great city or what"?
1. North Side pro baseball team, the Cubs, who perpetuate an execrable win/losss record but are nonetheless idolized as the "cubbies";
2. Weather: coldest major American city other than Minneapolis, snowiest outside Buffalo, steamiest summers outside the Mississippi River Valley or Deep South. Winter days are so short that evening rush occurs in the dark. Even on the best spring days, "San Francisco sweater weather" is practically nonexistent.
3. Political corruption, which is awesome due to its extent, its reach, its resourcesfulness and the apathy with which it is greated by most Chicagoans.
more pleasant phenomena of Chicago that still have a slight eccentric or "broken nose" quality:
1. Italian beef, which is roast been marinated in gravy, garlic and giardinera, served on Italian-crust sandwich bread, and almost unobtainable outside Chicago.
2. the conviction (and it still actually works) that if you place old dinette chairs in the spot from which you just extricated your hitherto snowbound car, that spot will be waiting for you when you get back.
3. Refusal to call the 'Willis Tower' anything other than its original name, the 'Sears Tower.'
"Is this a great city or what"?
by al-in-chgo January 2, 2011
Get the Broken Nose mug.Plural of "Pornality" (see definition).
Pornalities are words or expressions formed by fusing an older saying (usually trite or banal) with a new element to form a new meaning, usually more risque or graphic:
Examples:
With simple juxtaposition: "What can I do for you?" becomes, "What can I do you for?"
Fusion (sometimes called portmanteau) of two words:
TV's Bart Simpson fused CRAP + FANTASTIC and got CRAPTASTIC.
Pornalities are words or expressions formed by fusing an older saying (usually trite or banal) with a new element to form a new meaning, usually more risque or graphic:
Examples:
With simple juxtaposition: "What can I do for you?" becomes, "What can I do you for?"
Fusion (sometimes called portmanteau) of two words:
TV's Bart Simpson fused CRAP + FANTASTIC and got CRAPTASTIC.
Said the hooker to the john: "It's a business doing pleasure with you."
Said the john: "And I love the fact that you observe all the Pornalities."
Said the john: "And I love the fact that you observe all the Pornalities."
by al-in-chgo May 15, 2010
Get the Pornalities mug."Considering the poor showing Team Russia made at the 2010 Vancouver Olympics, they've got their work cut out for them to dominate the scene at Sochi."
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by al-in-chgo March 1, 2010
Get the Sochi mug.The cliche "hard-and-fast solution," as in "American energy independence offers no hard-and-fast solutions," upon mishearing becomes a Pornality (q.v.) and figures into the more risque examples below:
"Liz, I've been drinking too much, there isn't going to be any harden-fast solution in bed tonight."
"Uncle Joe, I'm sorry your love life is on the skids but if you're looking for a harden-fast solution there's always Viagra."
Thom -- "Quick-setting concrete for your breezeway! That can be your harden-fast solution!" Timm -- "Don't talk dirty."
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"Uncle Joe, I'm sorry your love life is on the skids but if you're looking for a harden-fast solution there's always Viagra."
Thom -- "Quick-setting concrete for your breezeway! That can be your harden-fast solution!" Timm -- "Don't talk dirty."
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by al-in-chgo May 23, 2010
Get the harden-fast solution mug.Careful! It doesn't mean "got milk?" as in the ad campaign.
Nor does it mean "do you(the store) have milk? That's an American idiom.
To see if a shop with a Spanish-speaking proprietor has milk for sale, ask "Hay leche?" (aye LAY-chay?) "Hay," (pron. like long "I" in English") plus the word of which you seek, is very useful to ask: is it here? OR are they here?
If the person behind the counter is a pregnant female, asking "Tiene leche?" would mean "Do you have breast milk?" It implies that anyway if one is strictly literal.
Say "Hay leche?"
Nor does it mean "do you(the store) have milk? That's an American idiom.
To see if a shop with a Spanish-speaking proprietor has milk for sale, ask "Hay leche?" (aye LAY-chay?) "Hay," (pron. like long "I" in English") plus the word of which you seek, is very useful to ask: is it here? OR are they here?
If the person behind the counter is a pregnant female, asking "Tiene leche?" would mean "Do you have breast milk?" It implies that anyway if one is strictly literal.
Say "Hay leche?"
Customer, wanting a liter of milk: "Tiene leche?"
Clerk, a young pregnant women, blushes and says, "No se." (I don't know.)
Customer does the right thing on the rebound: "Hay leche en esta bodega" ("Is there milk to be had in this shop?")
--Proprietress: "Si, sen~or. Alli! Alli (ay-YEE)!. "Yes, sir, over there! Over there!"
note from contributor: is there a macro-less way on a keyboard to simulate upside-down exclamation marks and question marks?
Clerk, a young pregnant women, blushes and says, "No se." (I don't know.)
Customer does the right thing on the rebound: "Hay leche en esta bodega" ("Is there milk to be had in this shop?")
--Proprietress: "Si, sen~or. Alli! Alli (ay-YEE)!. "Yes, sir, over there! Over there!"
note from contributor: is there a macro-less way on a keyboard to simulate upside-down exclamation marks and question marks?
by al-in-chgo October 6, 2010
Get the Tiene leche? mug.1. A Hot Older Man in the public eye, such as George Clooney or Brad Pitt.
2. A hot older gay male (note differing terminology). In a gay context, HOM signifies handsome gay men in their forties and fifties, who are usually well-defined physically and have body (esp. chest) hair and often some face hair, although head hair is not an absolute requirement. There are numerous websites devoted to same-sex admirers of HOM's, some more explicitly erotic than others.
2. A hot older gay male (note differing terminology). In a gay context, HOM signifies handsome gay men in their forties and fifties, who are usually well-defined physically and have body (esp. chest) hair and often some face hair, although head hair is not an absolute requirement. There are numerous websites devoted to same-sex admirers of HOM's, some more explicitly erotic than others.
Stefan: "See that guy leaving the gym? He is SO hot-looking with that jacket and greying goatee. My Tim Kelly meter is going tilt. Think he's HOM (aitch-oh-emm)?"
Thom: "If he's gay, you may be on to something. You sure have an eye for the daddies, don't you?"
Stefan: "Woof!"
Thom: "If he's gay, you may be on to something. You sure have an eye for the daddies, don't you?"
Stefan: "Woof!"
by al-in-chgo February 20, 2010
Get the HOM mug.