Sam is a Dick's definitions

country club conservative

The same thing as a limousine or latte liberal but on the other end of the spectrum. They talk about people working their way up, but they themselves grew up wealthy and never had a job that daddy's friends didn't set them up with, and wouldn't have kept those jobs on their own. They want the government out of everybody's lives until it's time to parcel out the subsidies.

The only major difference between them and limousine liberals is that they play more golf.

Limo Lib: "Every time I drive my Lexus to Starbucks I feel so sad for all those poor people I see. The government should give them all of someone else's money, as long as it's not mine"

Country Club Conservative: "Oh big deal. They're just too lazy to hire a lobbyist to get money for them."

by Sam is a Dick March 30, 2007

Hummer owner

The reason why gas prices are so high!

All Hummer owners should be sent to Iraq. They want the oil so bad they can get it their damned selves.

by Sam is a Dick April 3, 2007

internet

A series of tubes, definitely not a truck, intended for porn porn porn.

Ted Stevens from Alaska is the foremost expert on the internet.

by Sam is a Dick December 7, 2006

rice fever

A hardon for Asians. This is a common affliction among white guys.

The Beatles were a great rock group til John caught the rice fever and it was all over.

by Sam is a Dick October 25, 2006

chafer

An erection in briefs.

Dude I've gotta get boxers, your mom keeps giving me a chafer.

by Sam is a Dick October 28, 2006

Sharon Osbourne

The Lady Macbeth of metal. She stole her husband's balls.

Someone should arrest Sharon Osbourne for testicular embezzlement.

by Sam is a Dick March 30, 2007

Jesse Jackson

He is the emperor of black people.

Whenever someone says an "N" word, Jesse Jackson makes it all okay, then no black person is allowed to be offended.

by Sam is a Dick March 9, 2007