Hansonpaulsey's definitions

d8

Noun: A date you have with someone over the internet or over xbox live;

usually a designated time to get online to talk to this specific person

"I have a hot d8 tonight!"
"Oh yeah? Where at?"
"Me and HotChick69 are meeting in a private chat-room at 8:30."
"Nice! Maybe you'll get some n00dz!"

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

Bowel Towel

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to use a towel conveniently hung near the toilet.

"After Michael dropped a deuce, his next best option was the bowel towel hanging next to the tub."

by hansonpaulsey December 27, 2009

Gripjob

When an overly-excited or inexperienced girl attempts to give you a handjob but then ends up choking your dick to the point that it almost isn't worth it anymore.

9th grader: "Dude did you get some friday night!?"
another 9th grader: "Yeah but the girl gave me a gripjob and now it hurts to piss."

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

Devil's Swirly

Noun: The act of repeatedly dunking a person's head into a toilet while/after they vomit; usually done to someone who is puking as a result to consuming too much alcohol.

"While Mike began puking into the toilet after being unaware of his alcohol consumption limits, Chris began giving him a devil's swirly."

by hansonpaulsey November 9, 2009

Death Star

Noun: A death star is done by fisting a woman's asshole or vagina and while said fist is inside you open up your hand ( spreading out all 5 fingers) inside the woman.

"I gave that girl a death star since her pussy was so loose!"

by Hansonpaulsey October 13, 2009

Bloom

Verb: The act of having explosive diarrhea and accidentally getting feces on your balls; the act of defecating on someone else's balls in order for them to be pleasured by the act.

"Damn. After that Chipotle we ate last night, I ended up accidentally blooming. My balls looked like they were dipped in chocolate."

"Sandy bloomed on my balls last night before sex. The warmth turned me on to no end."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

Shoptimistic

To be positive that the gifts or presents you have bought for someone he or she will enjoy; to be optimistic that the purchases you will make will be well-worth the money.

My mother was so shoptimistic about the presents she had bought for my sister and I this Christmas that she didn't even bother keeping the receipts.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009