Hansonpaulsey's definitions

Shoptimistic

To be positive that the gifts or presents you have bought for someone he or she will enjoy; to be optimistic that the purchases you will make will be well-worth the money.

My mother was so shoptimistic about the presents she had bought for my sister and I this Christmas that she didn't even bother keeping the receipts.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

The Greatest Thing I've Never Seen

Phrase: Used sarcastically in reply after someone tells you a personal story that was overall stupid, uninteresting and hard to follow;

said in order to imply that the story would only be funny if you were there to witness/experience

Person 1: "... Then the girl was all like "At least I didn't do this and such!" and then I was like "No, you don't get it like that. It's like this you bitch! HAHA!" It was seriously so funny, like you have no idea!"
Person2: "Wow that is The Greatest Thing I've Never Seen."

by hansonpaulsey November 15, 2009

Virgin Mary Jane

Noun: A person who is smoking marijuana for the first time, usually followed by excessive coughing and a repeating statement of "I'm so high."

The Virgin Mary Jane began eating all of my pizza rolls and kept saying "I'm so high."

That pussy only took one hit.

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

A Snappy Cassy

For a girl to let out a vaginal flatulent or "quiff" into someone's mouth while they are asleep or unaware;

also known as a "Spicy Michael" when a guy farts into someone's mouth.

"Kayla gave a snappy cassy to her ex-boyfriend after he fell asleep at the party. He woke up humiliated, scarred, and possibly the most turned off by a girl he had ever been."

by Hansonpaulsey October 14, 2009

619

A threesome involving two sexual partners performing a 69 on one partner.

609 is the same as a 619, but with a more chubby partner in the middle.

"Last night, my girlfriend and I 69nd for the first time."
"Big deal. Last night, me, your girlfriend and your mom 619nd."

by hansonpaulsey February 13, 2010

Post-Ejaculation Revelation

(PERV)-Noun.

The period of time after a man has ejaculated where (for once) sex and women aren't on his mind and he suddenly has a clear thought process bringing in major epiphanies and supreme moments of clarity on life;
fyi: (these "PERVs" only last about a couple of minutes, or even seconds, which then after the idea of sex returns back to the brain.)

Alexander Graham Bell got into a huge argument with his girlfriend on his lack of communication skills since he supposedly didn't let her know that he was going to be home later than planned that night. This argument between them left her in a frustrated mood for the rest of the night which then resulted in her refusing to give him sex.

So after his girlfriend fell asleep, Alexander went to the outhouse in order to blow his load before going to bed. With his lack of communication skills still on his mind, he busted his nut which brought on a Post-Ejaculation Revelation:

"If I could have somehow communicated with my girlfriend from another location over some talking device... I could have gotten sex tonight! Yes, this idea is grand! I'll call it the telephone!"

The rest is history.

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

Cappy

Noun: A father who doesn't pay child support and gradually loses contact with his children.

"My dad hasn't talked to me in years and he doesn't even help out my family financially anymore. He's such a cappy."

by hansonpaulsey November 22, 2009