Hansonpaulsey's definitions

Ass Trash

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to search in the trash can next to you for any wiping material;

usually results in using:
-paper towels used previously to clean your sink
-toilet paper used to previously clean the top of the toothpaste
-previously used stridex pads
-previously used tampons wrapped up in toilet paper
-previously used tissues used to blow your nose
-the cardboard cylinder of the recently run-out toilet paper

"After eating chipotle, Mike rushed to the bathroom in order to drop his deuce. Afterwards, he realized that he was completely out of toilet paper. He then remembered his next best option: ass trash. Mike had to refer to wiping his ass with his mother's previously used vaginal pad.

by hansonpaulsey October 25, 2009

n00dz?

Noun: A question( proposing someone to send nude pictures) that is usually asked to seem "un-serious" or "sarcastic" to see if the person will in fact send nude pictures.
If answered with a yes, the proposer will then ask to see them.
If answered with a no, the proposer will then act as if they weren't being literal and quickly change the subject to avoid embarrassment.

Text message conversation:
Guy: "Sup girl?"
Girl: "Not much, just uploading some pictures."
Guy: "n00dz? ;"
Girl: "What am I, 14? I don't do that."
Guy: "Haha I know, I was kidding... anyway, how are you?"

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Spanky

Noun: A slap someone endures across the face with a thinly sliced piece of meat; usually done with lunch meat or a patty of a fast food burger.

"Since Mike wouldn't shut up at the McDonald's drive-thru, I opened up his greasy McDouble and gave him a spanky."

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Freeload Party

Noun: A house party where in order to get in you have to either bring your own booze (BYOB) or pay the host to drink; usually done by trading off the rights to have a party at the host's house as long as he or she gets profit or free alcohol/substances in the process.

Antonym: Gatsby Party

"Hey dude, you want to hit up this party tonight? It's better than just sitting around here."
"I don't know, is there going to be alcohol?"
"Yeah dude! Well, no... Only if you bring it yourself or you pay someone to drink theirs."
"So you're saying it's a freeload party..."
"Yeeeaaah..."
"Then no, those are fucking lame."

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

McDream

Noun: A McDonald's Dollar Menu combination of the top bun, lettuce, chicken patty, and mayonnaise of a McChicken on top of the two beef patties, cheese, onion, pickles, ketchup, and bottom bun of a double cheeseburger; sometimes referred to as a "Double Chickenburger", "McEcstasy" and "The 2 Dollar Heart-Attack"

"Eat a McDream today and you'll possibly be McDreaming for eternity!"

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Sleeping Drill

The act of masturbating before going to sleep;
usually done in order to fall asleep faster and more relaxed;
the "sleeping pill" drill.

"I was on a horrible sleeping schedule all summer and now that school starts tomorrow, I'll have to perform a "sleeping drill" in order to fall asleep at a decent time tonight."

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

609

A threesome involving two sexual partners performing a 69 on one partner which is reasonably fat.

619 is the same as a 609, but with a skinny partner in the middle.

"The only fat guys that will ever get the chance to 609 are rich celebrities."

by hansonpaulsey February 13, 2010