Hansonpaulsey's definitions

Ass Trash

Noun; After taking a shit and being unaware that you are out of toilet paper, your next best option is to search in the trash can next to you for any wiping material;

usually results in using:
-paper towels used previously to clean your sink
-toilet paper used to previously clean the top of the toothpaste
-previously used stridex pads
-previously used tampons wrapped up in toilet paper
-previously used tissues used to blow your nose
-the cardboard cylinder of the recently run-out toilet paper

"After eating chipotle, Mike rushed to the bathroom in order to drop his deuce. Afterwards, he realized that he was completely out of toilet paper. He then remembered his next best option: ass trash. Mike had to refer to wiping his ass with his mother's previously used vaginal pad.

by hansonpaulsey October 25, 2009

Devil's Swirly

Noun: The act of repeatedly dunking a person's head into a toilet while/after they vomit; usually done to someone who is puking as a result to consuming too much alcohol.

"While Mike began puking into the toilet after being unaware of his alcohol consumption limits, Chris began giving him a devil's swirly."

by hansonpaulsey November 9, 2009

n00dz?

Noun: A question( proposing someone to send nude pictures) that is usually asked to seem "un-serious" or "sarcastic" to see if the person will in fact send nude pictures.
If answered with a yes, the proposer will then ask to see them.
If answered with a no, the proposer will then act as if they weren't being literal and quickly change the subject to avoid embarrassment.

Text message conversation:
Guy: "Sup girl?"
Girl: "Not much, just uploading some pictures."
Guy: "n00dz? ;"
Girl: "What am I, 14? I don't do that."
Guy: "Haha I know, I was kidding... anyway, how are you?"

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Spanky

Noun: A slap someone endures across the face with a thinly sliced piece of meat; usually done with lunch meat or a patty of a fast food burger.

"Since Mike wouldn't shut up at the McDonald's drive-thru, I opened up his greasy McDouble and gave him a spanky."

by Hansonpaulsey October 12, 2009

Fraker

Noun: A person who lies about everything in order to have someone never be able to get to know the real them; a freak liar; someone in a bar who uses a different alias in order to have a one night stand without ever having to hear from the person ever again.

"Damn dude, party last night was crazy. Ended up meeting this chick, telling her she was so perfect for me, I would just love to date her and get to know more about her. That way she let me fuck her without thinking it'd be a one nighter. But definitely not going to call that bitch."
"Well aren't you afraid that she'll call you or look you up and come to your house if you don't get back to her?"
"Haha nah dude, I was a fraker last night so it's straight."

by Hansonpaulsey October 11, 2009

d8

Noun: A date you have with someone over the internet or over xbox live;

usually a designated time to get online to talk to this specific person

"I have a hot d8 tonight!"
"Oh yeah? Where at?"
"Me and HotChick69 are meeting in a private chat-room at 8:30."
"Nice! Maybe you'll get some n00dz!"

by hansonpaulsey November 8, 2009

phantom specs

The act of attempting to adjust or move prescription glasses from your face after wearing them for a period of time and then switching to contacts.

"Man, I just cannot get used to these new contacts. I keep trying to move my "glasses" up on my face and then realizing they're not there."
"Sounds like you have a case of the phantom specs."

by hansonpaulsey January 27, 2010