Garret's definitions

facial

(1)Application of make-up to one's face.
(2)Application of sperm to one's face.
Also see: smud

(1)"I'm going to Green's Salon to get my facial done."
(2)"Dude! Ron Jeremy just gave that bitch a facial!"

by Garret June 15, 2004

Pike

The action of just straight-up drilling a bitch in any orifice (most commonly vagina).

"Hey baby, wanna get piked?"
"Ho, don't even ask me to pike you; you know you can't take this dick."

by Garret August 28, 2004

Weaksauce

(1)Word used in place of more definite adjectives. Weak being interchangeable with many other adjectives, while sauce remains as a suffix.
(2)Lacking fertile sperm.

(1a)"Uh, dude, we're all out of bud."
"Weaksauce!"
(1b)"Man, my mom caught me tokin' last night.
"Gaysauce."
(2)"Goddamnit, we need to adopt kids."
"Why?"
"'Cause you've got fuckin' weaksauce."

by Garret February 6, 2005

call waiting face off

If you're on the phone with someone, and someone else calls, they enter a call waiting face off. The loser obviously being the one you tell you'll call back.

A: "Hey, hold on. I got another call."
B: "'k. (Goddamnit, I'm in a call waiting face off)"
--line-switch--
A: "Sorry about that, I was on the other line."
C: "It's ok. (Fuck... call waiting face off.)"
A: "Hold on a sec, 'k?"
C: "Sure. (SUCK IT, I WIN!)"
--line-switch--
A: "Hey man, I gotta call you back."
B: "Alright, see ya. (Fuck, I lost.)"

by Garret February 3, 2005

iron maiden

best metal band ever. best songs are flight of icarus and murders in the rue morgue.

dave murray is an amazing guitarist

by garret July 4, 2003

AOL

A shitty internet service, which I like to refer to as "America Offline," because the shit crashes so much. Thank God I got Comcast. Oh, Tom Warner's a fucking faggot.

"I'm Tom Warner, and I'm a fucking faggot."

by Garret February 6, 2005

Weaksauce

Weaksauce(adj.) - A term used in place of "that is (lame/weak/gay/etc.)!"

(1)"Um...Honey, I think the condom broke."
"Weaksauce!"
(2)"Dude, you missed it! That fat chick just got punched in the face!"
"Weaksauce!"

by Garret June 14, 2004