Cosmo's definitions

Colombian Flu

The incessant sniffling that inevitably follows insufflating a line of cocaine. So called because cocaine is a stereotypically Colombian export, and sniffling is a symptom of flu.

Chris: Yo, Kev, man, why you keep sniffling like that?
Kevin: Just a bad case of Colombian Flu.

by Cosmo February 7, 2007

St. Monday

The act of taking Monday off from work/class because you got crunk so hard over the weekend that you couldn't recover in time. The joke is that you're celebrating "St Monday's Day" and so you can't come to work.

The term actually dates back to pre-revolutionary America. Benjamin Franklin makes fun of his co-workers for taking a large number of "Saint Mondays" in "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin".

"This, and my being esteem'd a pretty good riggite, that is, a jocular verbal satirist, supported my consequence in the society. My constant attendance (I never making a St. Monday) recommended me to the master; and my uncommon quickness at composing occasioned my being put upon all work of dispatch, which was generally better paid. So I went on now very agreeably."

-The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

by Cosmo July 17, 2006

Clintonian Virgin

A man or woman who claims to be a virgin, on the grounds that they've never engaged in vaginal intercourse. This is in spite of having had a great number of what Kenneth Starr would consider "sexual partners".

As opposed to technical virgin, which carries no overt implication of promiscuity, association with Bill Clinton's reputedly expansive sexual conquests makes the Clintonian Virgin something of a slut or man-whore.

Chris: Hey, did you know that chick's never had sex before?

Kevin: Yeah, but she's been around. And around. And around.

Chris: Ah - a true Clintonian Virgin.

by Cosmo March 23, 2007

take the grenade

To sacrafice yourself by feigning interest in the hot girl's/guy's fat/ugly/annoying friend. Generally done while going out with a group of people, as it would be senseless to fall on the grenade solo.

see also fall on the grenade, jump on the grenade, sit on the grenade.

Rupert: Thanks for taking the grenade last night, man. It was totally sweet hooking up with that really hot girl. How was hooking up with her ugly friend?"

Cornelius: Not so bad once I got the brown paper bag over her head.

by cosmo October 8, 2004

synonymous

this is another stuffy professor word. its basically stuffy old man way to say aka

Breasts are synonymous with boobies

by cosmo July 20, 2004

Man Bunt

When playing a baseball-like sport, the act of taking a mighty chop at the ball, but making only slight contact, so the ball hits the ground and rolls only a few pathetic feet. Essentially, it has the effect of a bunt while still allowing the batter to look manly (if foolish) by making a full swing.

Man bunts that fail to either advance a runner or land the batter safely on base are not acutally man bunts, but just plain ole' screwing up.

(Chris takes a hard swing, but just nips the ball. It rolls gingerly down the 3rd base line, but remains fair as Chris sprints safely to first base).

First Baseman: that was total BS.
Chris: Pshaw! That was skill. Don't you know a good man bunt when you see one?

by Cosmo July 18, 2006

jimjam

a condom. combination of jimmy (or jimmy hat) and toe jam.

see jimjams, jim-jams, etc

by Cosmo January 3, 2005