Cosmo's definitions

Clintonian Virgin

A man or woman who claims to be a virgin, on the grounds that they've never engaged in vaginal intercourse. This is in spite of having had a great number of what Kenneth Starr would consider "sexual partners".

As opposed to technical virgin, which carries no overt implication of promiscuity, association with Bill Clinton's reputedly expansive sexual conquests makes the Clintonian Virgin something of a slut or man-whore.

Chris: Hey, did you know that chick's never had sex before?

Kevin: Yeah, but she's been around. And around. And around.

Chris: Ah - a true Clintonian Virgin.

by Cosmo March 23, 2007

jimjams

condoms. a variant of jim-jams

"You need some jimjams, man?"

"No, dude. And besides, they're "jim-jams."

by Cosmo January 3, 2005

Bop-type Refrain

An extremely esoteric nickname for cocaine. In the original lyrics to the Cole Porter classic showtune "I Get a Kick Out of You", the second verse begins is "Some get a kick from cocaine". As the years passed, that was changed to "Some like the bop-type refrain" so kids could continue to put on "Anything Goes" as a high-school musical.

People aware of this, wanting to demonstrate their cultural refinement and speak about cocaine, all while avoiding eavesdroppers and self-incrimination, replace the technical name of their drug of choice with "Bop-type Refrain" (or simply "Bop-type", though the later option brings with it a tremendous risk of losing your audience.)

Chris: I'm sick of referring to cocaine as "yatch". It's gone too mainstream.
Kevin: How about "Bop-type Refrain"?
Chris: What the - oh, I get it. I didn't know you were a devotee of musical theater.
Kevin: Eh, I know the Sinatra version.

by Cosmo July 25, 2006

poop

A corn log.
Golden brown floater.
Taking the kids to the pool.
losing weight.
A Cpt. Brown Eye Wink.
long range torpedo.

Why's poop tapered at the end? So your ass hole doesn't slam shut.

by Cosmo April 10, 2003

St. Monday

The act of taking Monday off from work/class because you got crunk so hard over the weekend that you couldn't recover in time. The joke is that you're celebrating "St Monday's Day" and so you can't come to work.

The term actually dates back to pre-revolutionary America. Benjamin Franklin makes fun of his co-workers for taking a large number of "Saint Mondays" in "The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin".

"This, and my being esteem'd a pretty good riggite, that is, a jocular verbal satirist, supported my consequence in the society. My constant attendance (I never making a St. Monday) recommended me to the master; and my uncommon quickness at composing occasioned my being put upon all work of dispatch, which was generally better paid. So I went on now very agreeably."

-The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin

by Cosmo July 17, 2006

foo-foo dust

(syn foo foo dust, fu fu dust, fu-fu dust)
A non-existant magical dust, used as a metaphor for whatever the hell it is that keeps desireable men in relationships with apprently undesirable women. Probably derived from foo foo or fu fu (the two are synonymous by synecdoche), though the nonsensical nature of the term probably implies that the term could have easily arisen "a tempore."

"Dude, Ben has been dating her for a long time but she is totally lame."

"Yeah, he's totally doped up on her foo-foo dust"

by cosmo July 20, 2004

GFEMP

an acronym (pronounced as a single syllable) for "Gently Flicking the End of My Penis". It can generally be exchanged in place of "joking" or "kidding" to impart a sense of incredulity.

Kevin: Dude, lemme buy you a beer?
Chris: Serious? You're not GFEMP, are you?
Kevin: Yeah, you got me...

by Cosmo July 26, 2006