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186 definitions by Cap'n Bullmoose

A paper toilet seat cover.

Also called a Texas t-shirt or a Portagee pegnoir.

This expression was common in the 1950s, and long time before the Gallagher was born. It's probably much older than that.
The fastidious Mrs. Feinman always uses an ass gasket in public commodes.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005
Anything that is highly offensive to a white liberal.
Public schools, which are run by white liberals, teach children to take offense at the most trivial matters. Since the only people who graduate from the public school system and who paid attention in class are white liberals, white liberals constitute a growing class of people who take offense at trivial. When you offend one of these white liberals by, for example, saying "Merry Christmas," the white liberal is trained to say "I find that offensive. It is politically incorrect to assume that everyone in our multicultural society celebrates Christmas." Go ahead, try it! Offend a white liberal and see what happens! They all spout the same pap.

White liberals say that calling someone a Portagee is politically incorrect. They say they become offended by hearing the word "Portagee." Well, Ms. White Liberal, I'm a Portagee and proud of it, and you can just go blow it out you rass.
by Cap'n Bullmoose December 23, 2007
A vile and mephitic fart. A fart that stinks so badly, it will clear out a smoke-filled pool hall. Downright nasty fart.
Melissa fired off a tile peeler in church, proving the Confucian adage, "Lady who fart in church sit in own pew."
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 30, 2005
An outhouse.

A portable fiberglass commode.

This word arose early in the twentieth century, and is reputed to be an acronym for "Keep Your Bowels Open." The word is universal among Boy Scouts and RAGBRAI bicyclists in Iowa.
If you guys don't wise up, you'll have to clean the kybo.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005
Coors Beer, brewed in Golden, Colorado.
Wally, who has no sense of taste, bought a case of Colorado Kool-Aid.
by Cap'n Bullmoose May 06, 2005
The .45-70 is a very old, very large rifle cartridge. The fine lever action Marlin model 1895 is chambered for the .45-70. The typical factory load has a 400 grain flat tipped or hollow point bullet. This is a fine cartridge for white-tail and mule deer, elk, moose, bison, and bears of all kinds.
The .45-70 is also a wonderful cartridge for use in the city. The large, heavy bullet makes effective kills on Bloods, Crips, Pachucos, and other slime-ball vermin. With the standard open sights on a Marlin 1895, you can easily grease a greaser at 300 feet -- far out of range of the kinds of guns criminals carry.
You do not have to worry about Crips or Pachukes getting their greasy hands on a .45-70 rifle to shoot back. First, pantywaist liberals in big cities do not own .45-70 rifles, so punks can't steal them. Second, inner city hoodlum slimes all fire guns by holding them on their side at arm's length. If a Pachuco tries that with a .45-70, he will bust all his teeth and his greasy nose too.
Belt Mountain Enterprises makes a "punch bullet" in .45-70. A punch bullet will go through a moose, a bear, or a bison from end to end. It will just as easily go through 11 or 12 Bloods. After it comes out of the last criminal, it will splat against a building, destroying all identifying rifle marks. With a good .45-70 carbine and punch bullets, you can begin cleaning up the neighborhood this afternoon. But be aware that pantywaist liberals hate punch bullets almost as much as they hate guns.
Position yourself correctly in the street, and you can get 8 or 9 low riders with one .45-70 punch bullet.
While Greasy Ramon was taking a dump in front of the bank, he got shot in the ass with a .45-70.
by Cap'n Bullmoose October 15, 2007
An extremely officious and bossy person.

A boss who cares more for rules than performance.

A person whose presence is as welcom as a stuck turd.
Joanne is a real stuck turd.
by Cap'n Bullmoose April 23, 2005