172 definitions by Cap'n Bullmoose

automatic

A type of automobile transmission used by old granny ladies, girlie girls, girlie men, and sissy boys.

You can spot cars with automatic transmissions as you drive on any road. The drivers step on the brakes for random cosmic events. If they see a fuzz, they step on the brakes. If they see a car pull up to a side street, they step on the brakes. If they come to an intersection, they step on the brakes. If they see a crow, they step on the brakes.

The repeated brake lights warn all stick shift drivers that a totally incompetent "driver" is operating the car.

No man with any self respect would ever drive a car with an automatic transmission.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 19, 2005

beer

A beverage that can not be purchased, but only rented.

As Jimmy Jack headed for the can, he told his buddy, "Watch my beer, Ermal. I'm goin' to pay my rent."

by Cap'n Bullmoose November 11, 2006

beer

A beverage that cannot be purchased; only rented.

You can't buy beer. You can only rent it.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 20, 2005

prarie oyster

A Prairie Oyster is a bull testicle battered and fried. A delicacy enjoyed by many, popularly served in bars and at rural festivals.

Compare with Rocky Mountain Oysters and bull fries.

McGurk serves Prairie Oysters in his bar every Saturday.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 26, 2005

Binderfender

An audible fart. An expulsion of waste gaseous hydrocarbons from the anus, accompanied by an audible roar or blatt, discernable by even the hearing impaired.

Miss Chalmers entertained the Ladies' Sewing Circle by blowing a raucous binderfender.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 18, 2005

Jewish Dilemma

Free ham.

From the stereotype that a Jew can't resist a bargain, and the Levitical prohibition of eating pork.

Father Murphy offered Rabii Bender a ham sandwich. "Oj gevalt!" moaned the good Rabii, "such a Jewish dilemma!"

by Cap'n Bullmoose May 3, 2005

cigarette

A roll of stink weed rolled in paper, found in the mouth of a redneck, skank, monkey, idiot, wino, bum, or fool. It is the cause of ash tray breath.

A Camel butt.

Belinda thinks she smells good with a cigarette in her mouth.

by Cap'n Bullmoose April 20, 2005