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Blenderhead91's definitions

Burgaling the Brown Bagel

To engage in anal intercourse. To penetrate another's rectum with one's penis.
I walked in on Steve and Rodney...it was so sick. They were swapping off on burgaling the brown bagel.
by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009
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Three Tattoo Rule

The scientific rule that states "If a girl has more than three tattoos, she'll probably take it in the ass."
1.) At first, I didn't buy into the Three Tattoo Rule, but eight years later and a few more romantic encounters under my belt, I'd have to say it's true.

2.) Cindy didn't disappoint. She was covered in ink and reaffirmed my belief in the Three Tattoo Rule.
by Blenderhead91 June 7, 2009
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fiddling the ferret

To masturbate. To stroke one's own penis. To jerk off.
After Sara turned out to be a bitch and he realized Heather was a gold-digging whore, Al stayed home, glumly fiddling the ferret to porn he found on imagefap.
by Blenderhead91 September 7, 2010
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Lap Cannon

(n.) a pseudonym for a gigantic cock; an abnormally large penis.
I wish that little honey would come over here and slob on my lap cannon.
by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009
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Dehli Belly

(n.) Gastro-intestinal distress associated with consuming questionable foodstuffs typically available from (usually illegal) immigrant street vendors. Diahrrea (commonly of the explosive kind)and cramping are associated with this unfortunate malady.
Vince missed work after having a bad batch of Tandoori take-out.Sounds like a case of Dehli Belly. He's had the explosive shits all morning.
by Blenderhead91 March 26, 2009
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Romancing the Stone

Having sex (regular or receiving oral) while passing a kidney stone in hopes that it will pass when you ejaculate.
Phil: How goes the renal calculi this morning, bro?

Doug: I may have passed that fucker. I was romancing the stone last night with that whore Nicole, and when I busted a nut, it was all bloody and gooey. Probably lodged like a stalagtite up there against her uterus.

Phil: I found my car keys up there once....
by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010
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Baptofascist

(n.) A radical authoritarian ideology fusing (usually Southern) Baptist values with extreme right-wing politics. Baptofascists tend to be the sort of (white) folks who put the Rebel Battleflag on their pick-up truck, use the n-word frequently, and believe in the Rapture. They also mininimize women's role ("Cookin' and cleanin' and servin' their husbands every whim"), are vehemently homo-phobic, and aren't shy about approaching total strangers to ask them if they have yet to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. All true Baptofascists are registered Republican, of course. All are pro-second ammendment, against gay marriage, and anti-women's reproductive rights. Baptofascists frequently can be found within earshot of an AM radio spewing Rush Limbaugh's philosophy of hate or The Sean Hannity show. They do not, however, listen to Glenn Beck, because he is a Mormon. Mormons are in league with Satan, silly.
I'm more uncomfortable in these briefs than a Baptofascist at a Gay Pride parade.
by Blenderhead91 March 28, 2009
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