Blenderhead91's definitions

Baptofascist

(n.) A radical authoritarian ideology fusing (usually Southern) Baptist values with extreme right-wing politics. Baptofascists tend to be the sort of (white) folks who put the Rebel Battleflag on their pick-up truck, use the n-word frequently, and believe in the Rapture. They also mininimize women's role ("Cookin' and cleanin' and servin' their husbands every whim"), are vehemently homo-phobic, and aren't shy about approaching total strangers to ask them if they have yet to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. All true Baptofascists are registered Republican, of course. All are pro-second ammendment, against gay marriage, and anti-women's reproductive rights. Baptofascists frequently can be found within earshot of an AM radio spewing Rush Limbaugh's philosophy of hate or The Sean Hannity show. They do not, however, listen to Glenn Beck, because he is a Mormon. Mormons are in league with Satan, silly.

I'm more uncomfortable in these briefs than a Baptofascist at a Gay Pride parade.

by Blenderhead91 March 28, 2009

Romancing the Stone

Having sex (regular or receiving oral) while passing a kidney stone in hopes that it will pass when you ejaculate.

Phil: How goes the renal calculi this morning, bro?

Doug: I may have passed that fucker. I was romancing the stone last night with that whore Nicole, and when I busted a nut, it was all bloody and gooey. Probably lodged like a stalagtite up there against her uterus.

Phil: I found my car keys up there once....

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

Dehli Belly

(n.) Gastro-intestinal distress associated with consuming questionable foodstuffs typically available from (usually illegal) immigrant street vendors. Diahrrea (commonly of the explosive kind)and cramping are associated with this unfortunate malady.

Vince missed work after having a bad batch of Tandoori take-out.Sounds like a case of Dehli Belly. He's had the explosive shits all morning.

by Blenderhead91 March 26, 2009

Reversible Yam

(n.) The external genitalia of a woman; the vulva.

"Look at the camel-toe of Glennis! I betcha her reversible yam is in need of a good noshing!"

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

taintular cystosis

(n.) a condition in which one has developed a cyst on one's taint. Eventually, it will surface and drain, usually oozing copious quantities of thick pus. Trust me, this hurts.

Phil: How's the taintular cystosis treating you, Bob?

Bob: I got that fucker drained, dude. The relief...it was better than sex! And what came out of it...looked like a half cup of mashed potatos!

Phil: Dude....gross.

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

As fresh as a stroll on the beach

A phrase used to describe the odor produced by a woman's vagina. This is a polite way of saying that her vulva smells like dead sea creatures.

Doug: I remember the first time I got into Nicole's panties.

Phil: Oh yeah? What was it like?

Doug: As fresh as a stroll on the beach, man.

Phil: That seems to be everybody's opinion of what her crotch smells like. Rotting salmon, decomposing shrimp, with a hint of dead walrus.

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

Three Tattoo Rule

The scientific rule that states "If a girl has more than three tattoos, she'll probably take it in the ass."

1.) At first, I didn't buy into the Three Tattoo Rule, but eight years later and a few more romantic encounters under my belt, I'd have to say it's true.

2.) Cindy didn't disappoint. She was covered in ink and reaffirmed my belief in the Three Tattoo Rule.

by Blenderhead91 June 7, 2009