Blenderhead91's definitions

Third Testicle

(n.) The presence of a third body in one's scrotum. Most likely cancer. Get yourself checked if you think you have a third testicle.

Douglas: "Neil, check this out! I have a third testicle."

Neil: "Doug, I hate to burst your bubble, man, but that looks like cancer."

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

crotch floss

(n.) a towel (or other piece of material such as an article of clothing left in the bathroom by a roomie or sibling) purpose-dedicated to drying the area between one's genitals and rectum and the rectum itself (also the region between the scrotum and the thigh). The towel is grasped in one hand in front of the body, and one hand behind and pulled back and forth vigorously, as if flossing one's teeth, but on a larger and smellier scale.

(v.) to floss one's crotch, using a towel as described above. Telltale evidence is usually left on a towel used for crotch flossing: brown skid marks.

Doug used Jane's tanktop as crotch floss, since she insists upon leaving her clothing on the bathroom floor.

by Blenderhead91 April 8, 2009

Long Bong Silver

(n.)An ornately decorated marijuana smoking apparatus, usually oversized.

Biff: "Dude, we're going out to the penninsula to party down."

Vince:"pack Long Bong Silver, 'cause I got some resinous nugs!"

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

Baptofascist

(n.) A radical authoritarian ideology fusing (usually Southern) Baptist values with extreme right-wing politics. Baptofascists tend to be the sort of (white) folks who put the Rebel Battleflag on their pick-up truck, use the n-word frequently, and believe in the Rapture. They also mininimize women's role ("Cookin' and cleanin' and servin' their husbands every whim"), are vehemently homo-phobic, and aren't shy about approaching total strangers to ask them if they have yet to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. All true Baptofascists are registered Republican, of course. All are pro-second ammendment, against gay marriage, and anti-women's reproductive rights. Baptofascists frequently can be found within earshot of an AM radio spewing Rush Limbaugh's philosophy of hate or The Sean Hannity show. They do not, however, listen to Glenn Beck, because he is a Mormon. Mormons are in league with Satan, silly.

I'm more uncomfortable in these briefs than a Baptofascist at a Gay Pride parade.

by Blenderhead91 March 28, 2009

Corn Surprise

(n.) The act of discovering the presence of corn in one's bowel movement when you know it's been a long time since you have eaten any corn.

"Hey Liddy! Check out this floater I just pinched off! It's a corn surprise! When was it we last had corn?"

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

taintular cystosis

(n.) a condition in which one has developed a cyst on one's taint. Eventually, it will surface and drain, usually oozing copious quantities of thick pus. Trust me, this hurts.

Phil: How's the taintular cystosis treating you, Bob?

Bob: I got that fucker drained, dude. The relief...it was better than sex! And what came out of it...looked like a half cup of mashed potatos!

Phil: Dude....gross.

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

twat junk

A cheesy, foul-smelling paste produced by a chronically unwashed vagina. Frequently, it will collect around the vulva where it waits to ambush the unsuspecting when panties are removed in anticipation of (usually oral)intercourse. Twat junk is commonly associated with various infections of the cunt and invariably forms pasty little pellets that may adhere to the labia or collect in the undergarments.

I hope Neil used a gasmask when he went down on Darlene. That girl's twat junk is just plain noxious!

by Blenderhead91 March 26, 2009