Blenderhead91's definitions

crotch floss

(n.) a towel (or other piece of material such as an article of clothing left in the bathroom by a roomie or sibling) purpose-dedicated to drying the area between one's genitals and rectum and the rectum itself (also the region between the scrotum and the thigh). The towel is grasped in one hand in front of the body, and one hand behind and pulled back and forth vigorously, as if flossing one's teeth, but on a larger and smellier scale.

(v.) to floss one's crotch, using a towel as described above. Telltale evidence is usually left on a towel used for crotch flossing: brown skid marks.

Doug used Jane's tanktop as crotch floss, since she insists upon leaving her clothing on the bathroom floor.

by Blenderhead91 April 8, 2009

pussy paste

(n.) A thick, foul-smelling substance the consistency of cupcake frosting produced by a woman's yeast-infected or grievously unwashed vagina. Pussy paste tends to collect around the labia in the form of clumps. Shed pubic hairs may or may not be present in the pussy paste stalactites, but when it is, it lends a certain aspect of visual horror to their appearance. It is widely accepted that pussy paste smells similar to the shithouse on a tuna boat.

I really like Susan, but her pussy paste problem is just too much to handle without a gas mask.

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

twat junk

A cheesy, foul-smelling paste produced by a chronically unwashed vagina. Frequently, it will collect around the vulva where it waits to ambush the unsuspecting when panties are removed in anticipation of (usually oral)intercourse. Twat junk is commonly associated with various infections of the cunt and invariably forms pasty little pellets that may adhere to the labia or collect in the undergarments.

I hope Neil used a gasmask when he went down on Darlene. That girl's twat junk is just plain noxious!

by Blenderhead91 March 26, 2009

fiddling the ferret

To masturbate. To stroke one's own penis. To jerk off.

After Sara turned out to be a bitch and he realized Heather was a gold-digging whore, Al stayed home, glumly fiddling the ferret to porn he found on imagefap.

by Blenderhead91 September 7, 2010

Baptofascist

(n.) A radical authoritarian ideology fusing (usually Southern) Baptist values with extreme right-wing politics. Baptofascists tend to be the sort of (white) folks who put the Rebel Battleflag on their pick-up truck, use the n-word frequently, and believe in the Rapture. They also mininimize women's role ("Cookin' and cleanin' and servin' their husbands every whim"), are vehemently homo-phobic, and aren't shy about approaching total strangers to ask them if they have yet to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior. All true Baptofascists are registered Republican, of course. All are pro-second ammendment, against gay marriage, and anti-women's reproductive rights. Baptofascists frequently can be found within earshot of an AM radio spewing Rush Limbaugh's philosophy of hate or The Sean Hannity show. They do not, however, listen to Glenn Beck, because he is a Mormon. Mormons are in league with Satan, silly.

I'm more uncomfortable in these briefs than a Baptofascist at a Gay Pride parade.

by Blenderhead91 March 28, 2009

Romancing the Stone

Having sex (regular or receiving oral) while passing a kidney stone in hopes that it will pass when you ejaculate.

Phil: How goes the renal calculi this morning, bro?

Doug: I may have passed that fucker. I was romancing the stone last night with that whore Nicole, and when I busted a nut, it was all bloody and gooey. Probably lodged like a stalagtite up there against her uterus.

Phil: I found my car keys up there once....

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

Lap Cannon

(n.) a pseudonym for a gigantic cock; an abnormally large penis.

I wish that little honey would come over here and slob on my lap cannon.

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009