Blenderhead91's definitions

Zippy the Squirrel

A squirrel that made national headlines in early 2008, after attacking Mike Huckabee during a campaign speech in Clemson, SC. Mr. Huckabee had admitted to consuming squirrels previously, but revenge was not the apparent motive for the assault. The squirrel leapt from the rafters after scurrying amongst the light fixtures, laning on Huckabee's neck and scratching and biting him there and on his face and ears. Huckabee's comments about state's rights and the flying of the Confederate Battle Flag seemed to incite the rodent to attack. Zippy was subsequently subdued by Chuck Norris. Huckabee's wounds were trivial. DNC chair Howard Dean denied that Zippy was a Democratic Party operative, but did say that squirrels are keen survivors, and that Mike Huckabee is one of the biggest nuts out there.

Zippy the Squirrel did his part to derail Mike Huckabee's Presidential campaign in 2008. His present whereabouts are unknown.

by Blenderhead91 September 5, 2010

GOE

Abbreviation for a Gathering of Eagles, a right-wing extremist group who thinks that sending off US Military personnel to overseas conflicts to be killed wholesale and lugged home in body bags (frequently burned to a crisp or dismembered) or alive but heinously physically disfigured or maimed or even left emotionally paralyzed by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is the best way to support them. This group regularly engages in counter-protests at pro-peace gatherings. Their tactics involve using intimidation, threats, hate-speech, videotaping members of anti-war organizations, and attempting to instigate a violent response through various means of confrontation. GOE members have gone so far as to physically assault grieving members of service members' families who have spoken out against the various wars that the US Government has gotten the nation into. This reprehensible group is opposed by several noble organizations that include Veterans for Peace and the Winter Soldiers. The GOE frequently suggests as "vast liberal conspiracy" involving the media opposes their efforts and calls anyone who opposes their efforts as "moonbats," whatever that is.

Carolyn Swartout is an infamous member of the despicable and often hateful organization known as a Gathering of Eagles (GOE). She has been witness attempting to provoke a violent response at peaceful anti-war gatherings sometimes by using her minor son to instigate a confrontation. She is a coward.

by Blenderhead91 June 8, 2009

Third Testicle

(n.) The presence of a third body in one's scrotum. Most likely cancer. Get yourself checked if you think you have a third testicle.

Douglas: "Neil, check this out! I have a third testicle."

Neil: "Doug, I hate to burst your bubble, man, but that looks like cancer."

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

crotch floss

(n.) a towel (or other piece of material such as an article of clothing left in the bathroom by a roomie or sibling) purpose-dedicated to drying the area between one's genitals and rectum and the rectum itself (also the region between the scrotum and the thigh). The towel is grasped in one hand in front of the body, and one hand behind and pulled back and forth vigorously, as if flossing one's teeth, but on a larger and smellier scale.

(v.) to floss one's crotch, using a towel as described above. Telltale evidence is usually left on a towel used for crotch flossing: brown skid marks.

Doug used Jane's tanktop as crotch floss, since she insists upon leaving her clothing on the bathroom floor.

by Blenderhead91 April 8, 2009

taintular cystosis

(n.) a condition in which one has developed a cyst on one's taint. Eventually, it will surface and drain, usually oozing copious quantities of thick pus. Trust me, this hurts.

Phil: How's the taintular cystosis treating you, Bob?

Bob: I got that fucker drained, dude. The relief...it was better than sex! And what came out of it...looked like a half cup of mashed potatos!

Phil: Dude....gross.

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

crotch crustacean

(n.) a pubic louse; the crabs.

I contracted a case of the crotch crustaceans from the trousers I purchased at the Salvation Army Thrift Store. Of course the old lady just ain't buying it...

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

Black and Decker Pussy Wrecker

n.) An astoundingly large penis capable of causing trauma if used for regular vaginal intercourse.

I gave Judy the Black and Decker Pussy Wrecker. She hasn't walked right for a week.

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009