Blenderhead91's definitions

Corn Surprise

(n.) The act of discovering the presence of corn in one's bowel movement when you know it's been a long time since you have eaten any corn.

"Hey Liddy! Check out this floater I just pinched off! It's a corn surprise! When was it we last had corn?"

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

As fresh as a stroll on the beach

A phrase used to describe the odor produced by a woman's vagina. This is a polite way of saying that her vulva smells like dead sea creatures.

Doug: I remember the first time I got into Nicole's panties.

Phil: Oh yeah? What was it like?

Doug: As fresh as a stroll on the beach, man.

Phil: That seems to be everybody's opinion of what her crotch smells like. Rotting salmon, decomposing shrimp, with a hint of dead walrus.

by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010

crotch crustacean

(n.) a pubic louse; the crabs.

I contracted a case of the crotch crustaceans from the trousers I purchased at the Salvation Army Thrift Store. Of course the old lady just ain't buying it...

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

Black and Decker Pussy Wrecker

n.) An astoundingly large penis capable of causing trauma if used for regular vaginal intercourse.

I gave Judy the Black and Decker Pussy Wrecker. She hasn't walked right for a week.

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009

Savage Nation

Is a radio talk-show hosted by uber-fascist Michael Savage. Mr. Savage regularly goes on extended rants, extolling his extremely over-stated impact on American society, blaming a multitude of diseases on illegal immigrants, and charging liberals with the various ills that have befallen the United States. He regularly bad-mouths callers who are incouraged to call in and challenge his self-assumed "genius." Michael Savage claims to be "Right of Rush and to the Left of God." He whined incessantly over the course of several days programming about being banned from the U.K. by British Home Secretary Jacqui Smith, a very astute measure on her part. Unfortunately this means that there is one less place in the world to deport this reprobate to, should the American Government ever develop the sense to do so.

People that listen to Savage Nation and actually buy into it make me embarassed to be an American.

by Blenderhead91 May 15, 2009

crotch floss

(n.) a towel (or other piece of material such as an article of clothing left in the bathroom by a roomie or sibling) purpose-dedicated to drying the area between one's genitals and rectum and the rectum itself (also the region between the scrotum and the thigh). The towel is grasped in one hand in front of the body, and one hand behind and pulled back and forth vigorously, as if flossing one's teeth, but on a larger and smellier scale.

(v.) to floss one's crotch, using a towel as described above. Telltale evidence is usually left on a towel used for crotch flossing: brown skid marks.

Doug used Jane's tanktop as crotch floss, since she insists upon leaving her clothing on the bathroom floor.

by Blenderhead91 April 8, 2009

Sneak peek at Jesus

To have a near-death experience.

Neil: "Wow, Vince, we all thought you were a goner. I never saw somebody survive being sexually molested by a polar bear!"

Vince: "Dude, I got a sneak peek at Jesus."

by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009