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2 legged hippo wearing a man's head as a hat 

2 legged hippo wearing a man's head as a hat

When a guy's fat gut is so huge it resembles a hippopotamus head ... it therefore must be a hippopotamus that only has 2 legs and has purchased itself a lovely man's head for a hat (probably not such a lovely hat given the size of the gut)
Wtf? Is that a 2 legged hippo wearing a man's head as a hat?

I am a man who is wearing a hat 

Used to indicate that the speaker is a man and currently wearing a hat.

Wearing a big hat 

The act of being inebriated to dangerous levels of excess
Possum Jenkins: Hey, what did you do for halloween?
Ollie: We had a party, I was wearing a big hat for most of the night.
Wearing a big hat by TheRiverMan November 2, 2010

ain't nobody wearing a feather hat 

A statement said to your sister when what she is speaking of is stupid and out of her element.
Annikwa said, "I sure wish I had me some scotch."

Mo'Lindy replied, "Shoo, girl - ain't nobody wearing a feather hat. Drink you some Hen."

Wearing me as a hat 

To have someone so far up your ass, they are wearing you as a hat.
"This guy will be wearing me as a hat until I deliver his stuff"