Insurance that will cover you in the event that any form of tenticle un-consensually penetrates you.
Slogan: We can't heal your scars, and we can't
help you regain your
virginity, but we will
help you through this.
"
Dude, what's wrong, you're walking kinda
funny?"
"Ugh, I was swimming and this giant squid shoved a tenticle up my
ass."
"You were raped by a squid?"
"Pretty much."
"Damn."
"Good thing I have Tenticle Rape Insurance, they'll help me through this."