poosterbate 

The act of performing self inflicted sex while in the process of voiding your bowels. i.e. Masturbating while you poop.

Valma was using her phone on the meetme app but decided poosterbate instead.

poosterbate by Valma DooDoo January 9, 2014

plasterbate 

To masturbate while being plastered (severely intoxicated)

"Today sucked, I am just going to chug this fine Lagavulin and go plasterbate"

plasterbate by YuriN March 18, 2008

pooperbate 

The act of simultaneously defecating while masturbating.

Jordan: "Where's Matt?"
Andrew: "He went to pooperbate."
Jordan: "Impressive, I didn't know he was a good at multitasking."

pooperbate by JAMS2010 May 29, 2010

poopsturbate

The act of manually achieving orgasm shortly after a successful bowel movement.

I always poopsturbate once a day, usually after my classes.

poopsturbate by Chuck Wagon January 5, 2009

poopsturbate

Killing two birds with one stone

Gary: Holy shit, grandpa's funeral is in a half hour and I still need to jerk off and take a shit!
Paul: Poopsturbate! It's really your only hope

poopsturbate by papa moyer February 28, 2011

poopsterbate 

To simultaneously poop and masturbate. My friend Daniel, who is undoubtedly a chronic poopsterbater, coined this phrase.

I heard Mark poopsterbating on the toilet last night.

Andy enjoys to poopsterbate.

"Want to watch me poosterbate?" Stephen asked.

poopsterbate by ShawnB April 30, 2005

posturbate 

To post incessant, inane threads on an internet forum to alleviate boredom or sexual frustration.

Must be slow at work -- Scott's done nothing but posturbate all day on HC.

posturbate by Nemo Nemo August 3, 2007