polish the wood

When your friend asks about your questionable decisions/sexual escapades/conquests from the previous day/night.

"Hey (insert name here), did (insert other name here) polish the wood last night?"
"Greetings. I am not entirely sure what you mean. But let me assume you are talking about how I got my brains fucked out of my skull several times over from 3pm Sunday until 3pm Monday."

by thefratlordoftheskies October 8, 2016

Polishing the wood

A Euphemism for masturbation

guy 1:hey you watch that porno i gave you last nite
guy 2:ye i was polishing the wood wathcing it

by cheese-knee March 5, 2008

should have polished the wood

What you should have done...instead of getting her pregnant!

He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"

She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"

by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007

polishing wood

Masturbating with such a volicity that the penis has a shine afterwards

The young electrician, when not frequenting glory holes, spent his time polishing wood with glee!

by Angry Stockholder July 17, 2019