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Performance Review

A process where some cunt you're forced to spend far too much time with sits you down and wastes an hour of your life every year telling you how wonderful they are and how rubbish you are in order to justify their own meaningless existence and make them feel powerful.

The degree of shit you'll receive generally depends on how well you've covered up the cunt's mistakes over the year and also depends on how brown your tongue is from ass licking over the year.

To be treated with utter contempt unless you are a brown tongued ass licker in which case you can fuck off. PS your colleagues hate you.
Manager: It's time for your Performance Review

Employee: Woo! I can't wait for this valuable loopback session!

Fast forward for an hour:

Manager: So in summary, you've met all of your objectives all year and been a key member of the team. We're not giving you a pay award however as you've had a haircut that was outside of our dress code and appearance policy and took a day off when your father died and expected to be paid for it.
Performance Review by HR_Advisory January 4, 2012
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performance review

A chance for others less capable than yourself to get their own back
I worked my ass off for six months on that project and delivered on time and on budget but in my performance review all my boss could do was critique my soft skills.

performance review

When Seth Rogen comes to your workplace and asks you to take him through your typical day at work.
"Mr. Samberg, thanks for coming to your performance review."
"No problem."
"So you're in charge around here, is that fair to say?"
"Absolutely! I'm da bawz."
performance review by herpy August 25, 2011

performance review

A chance for others less capable than yourself to get their own back
I worked my ass off for six months on that project and delivered on time and on budget but in my performance review all my boss could do was critique my soft skills.
A toe rag was originally a foot wrapping used, since mediaeval times up until the mid-nineteenth century, to protect the foot from chafing by boots or shoes. As these were, quite literally, rags they weren’t usually washed, and so with use they became very smelly until they were thrown away. Because of the similarity in smell, toe rag also became the name applied to dried, salted cod or other things with a strong, unpleasant, fishy smell. It didn’t take that long before the name was applied to someone who was an obnoxious, unpleasant OIC.
1 “Socks! Those aren’t socks you smelly git, they’re toe rags!”
2 “What have you been cooking? Smells like toe rag!”
3 “I can smell ‘er fanny from ‘ere, proper toe rag.”
4 That Heale Malcolm is a right toe rag.
Toe Rag by AKACroatalin November 29, 2016
Word of the Day on July 24, 2026

Eternity leave 

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.
Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.
Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023
Word of the Day on July 23, 2026
The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.
Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.
jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006
Word of the Day on July 22, 2026