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nine kinds of relish 

1. A slightly strange, confusing or inexplicable occurrence or state of events; something that defies normal logic in a minor way.

2. Someone who makes others uneasy or uncomfortable, despite a normal outward presentation.
1. I usually leave my car keys on the kitchen counter, but today I found them in the refrigerator. It's been nine kinds of relish this morning.

2. That guy at the party last night seemed nice, but there was something off about him -- he was definitely nine kinds of relish. I'm glad I didn't give him my number.

i like kids, just nine year olds 

something pewdiepie said to get more subs and it's currently working as of 12/20/18
i like kids, just nine year olds and i go to war with them