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masturbaby

when you are circle jerkin and your sister walks in on you and you jizz all over her and she gets pregnant then after she plops out a retarded incest baby then a seal waddles over and sits on the baby and jerks it off.
Ian: yo what up dawg i have like 999 masturbaby and idk what to do with them i need to stop jackin off yo
(a gay kid): like omg ill have them i love cute masturbaby
by whatupwhatupwhatupginger December 4, 2010
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Masturbaywatch

To watch the American lifeguard-inspired drama 'Baywatch' for the sole aim of masturbation
'So I was having a masturbaywatch to Pamela Anderson last night when, on the vinegar strokes, the camera panned to David Hasselhoff. As I understand, this now means that I must be a raging homosexual. Do you know where I can catch a matinee of 'Mamma Mia' and follow it up with some good old-fashioned sodomy so as to assimilate effectively with my newfound kin?'
by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016
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Masturbaker's dozen

The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.
'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'
by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016
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masturbaginity

The state of being pure, unsullied, or untouched by your own hands, esp. to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.
I'm almost ashamed to say Nikki Cox took my masturbaginity.
by TB82 January 16, 2009
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Masturbacation

1) Where you can't afford a real vacation so you sit at home and jerk off.
1a) Jim: what did you do over spring break?

Tom: I was broke so I stayed at home and had a masturbacation.

Jim: that's gross.

b) Jim: What did you do over spring break?

Stacey: I was broke so I stayed at home and had a masturbacation.

Jim: that's hot.
by sexyleg March 9, 2010
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masturbanished

Similar to being sexiled, except the reason you can't get into your rooom is that your roomie is enjoying some single player entertainment.
Matt: Hey let's go play Scrabble in your room.
Jill: My room's on the other side of campus. Can't we just use yours?
Matt: Well, when I walked in to get the board, William was under the covers with a box of tissues on the bed. Which is to say I think he's busy.
Jill: And were totally using my room.

----

Amy: Why didn't you guys just play in Matt's room?
Jill: Um, his roommate was busy.
Matt: We got masturbanished.
by Scrabblesaurus Rex July 17, 2006
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masturbaceous

A female worthy of adding to one's spank bank.
That bitch is so maturbaceous.
by netteach March 14, 2003
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