masturbaby

when you are circle jerkin and your sister walks in on you and you jizz all over her and she gets pregnant then after she plops out a retarded incest baby then a seal waddles over and sits on the baby and jerks it off.

Ian: yo what up dawg i have like 999 masturbaby and idk what to do with them i need to stop jackin off yo
(a gay kid): like omg ill have them i love cute masturbaby

masturbaby by whatupwhatupwhatupginger December 4, 2010

Masturbaywatch 

To watch the American lifeguard-inspired drama 'Baywatch' for the sole aim of masturbation

'So I was having a masturbaywatch to Pamela Anderson last night when, on the vinegar strokes, the camera panned to David Hasselhoff. As I understand, this now means that I must be a raging homosexual. Do you know where I can catch a matinee of 'Mamma Mia' and follow it up with some good old-fashioned sodomy so as to assimilate effectively with my newfound kin?'

Masturbaywatch by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016

Masturbaker's dozen 

The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.

'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'

Masturbaker's dozen by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016

masturbaginity 

The state of being pure, unsullied, or untouched by your own hands, esp. to orgasm; sexual self-gratification.

I'm almost ashamed to say Nikki Cox took my masturbaginity.

masturbaginity by TB82 January 16, 2009

Masturbacation

1) Where you can't afford a real vacation so you sit at home and jerk off.

1a) Jim: what did you do over spring break?

Tom: I was broke so I stayed at home and had a masturbacation.

Jim: that's gross.

b) Jim: What did you do over spring break?

Stacey: I was broke so I stayed at home and had a masturbacation.

Jim: that's hot.

Masturbacation by sexyleg March 9, 2010

masturbanished 

Similar to being sexiled, except the reason you can't get into your rooom is that your roomie is enjoying some single player entertainment.

Matt: Hey let's go play Scrabble in your room.
Jill: My room's on the other side of campus. Can't we just use yours?
Matt: Well, when I walked in to get the board, William was under the covers with a box of tissues on the bed. Which is to say I think he's busy.
Jill: And were totally using my room.

----

Amy: Why didn't you guys just play in Matt's room?
Jill: Um, his roommate was busy.
Matt: We got masturbanished.

masturbanished by Scrabblesaurus Rex July 17, 2006

masturbaceous 

A female worthy of adding to one's spank bank.

That bitch is so maturbaceous.

masturbaceous by netteach March 14, 2003