Somebody else here added a definition for "jehovahs witness", thus creating this new page, instead of adding to the already existing "Jehovah's Witness" or "Jehovah's Witnesses" definitions.
by Bill M. August 27, 2004
people who have wrong beliefs about everything its actually laughable how dumb their religion is its a sinful cult but are good kissers and good at tetris
by blueberrychapstickruinedmylife October 24, 2017
A group of people that study the bible. Not to be mistaken for a cult because they have the choice to leave whenever they want to. They make a habit of spending at least an hour every week going door to door and preaching. There prophesying may have been wrong in the past but they are genuinely nice people. They were also persecuted during the holocaust along with the Jews and Roma. They do in fact encourage their members to pursue post secondary education. Their people make the best husbands and wives out there.
by Scaramouch October 26, 2011
A religious organization. It manifests many cult-like traits like all religions throughout history. Most hated by the common people for their tendency to spread their version of the bible to everyone, at any time. However, the JW is a rather docile and pleasant creature when their unrelenting urge to save all humanity is overlooked. They almost always travel in flocks of two or more.
Their closest cousin in behavior is the Mormon, although a JW is harder to get rid of and harder to catch off guard as they spend an average of three to five hours a week studying the bible and its related subjects.
As with all religions they have their own ideals, beliefs, practices and have been persecuted throughout history by all manner of peoples including such famous oppressors as Adolf Hitler and the Catholics.
Suggestion from an ex JW: When faced with a Jehovah's Witness pretend to be devotely Satanic and do not accept literature of any kind, no matter how small. Be extreme with the satanism, almost to the point of violence.
Their closest cousin in behavior is the Mormon, although a JW is harder to get rid of and harder to catch off guard as they spend an average of three to five hours a week studying the bible and its related subjects.
As with all religions they have their own ideals, beliefs, practices and have been persecuted throughout history by all manner of peoples including such famous oppressors as Adolf Hitler and the Catholics.
Suggestion from an ex JW: When faced with a Jehovah's Witness pretend to be devotely Satanic and do not accept literature of any kind, no matter how small. Be extreme with the satanism, almost to the point of violence.
by Sarah the Shunga Bunny September 29, 2005
A secret organization that spies on and targets people for their feminism and their machist purposes.
by bitchdipshit February 20, 2021
The simple definition is as the name says Jehovah's Witnesses, or witnesses of Jehovah. In the texts of scriptures and writings from Moses to John, the word YHWH appears over 6700 times. No matter what language you use, whether you translate or transliterate, YHWH's name means "He who causes to become" and it directly points to His real name, which is the same in all languages.
Jehovah"He who causes to become", has caused to become the earth, all life on earth and even a way for all our sins to be washed away through the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ.
And what do we as humans need to do? Practice the teachings set out for us in the Bible! All countries worldwide today have laws regarding murder, rape, theft. WORLDWIDE, we as humans believe these things to be wrong. If humans are "created in God's image" would we not also have the same ideas genetically coded into us? We , as humans, also know that the current world society has declined since ancient times. We have not rooted out hunger. We have not prevented wars. We have not eliminated disease.
Jehovah"He who causes to become", has caused to become the earth, all life on earth and even a way for all our sins to be washed away through the sacrifice of his Son, Jesus Christ.
And what do we as humans need to do? Practice the teachings set out for us in the Bible! All countries worldwide today have laws regarding murder, rape, theft. WORLDWIDE, we as humans believe these things to be wrong. If humans are "created in God's image" would we not also have the same ideas genetically coded into us? We , as humans, also know that the current world society has declined since ancient times. We have not rooted out hunger. We have not prevented wars. We have not eliminated disease.
As humans, we strive to do our own thing, find our own way.
Is it possible for a race, who were caused to become, to find their own way?
Our history speaks volumes!
Jehovah's Witnesses go door to door because they believe in their hearts and minds that humanity can be saved because Jehovah wants all his children, who he "caused to become", to live and not to die through ignorance and pride.
Wouldn't you yell at the top of your lungs if you knew that your friends and family were about to be engulfed in a horrific and terrible natural disaster?
How do you respond?
Is it possible for a race, who were caused to become, to find their own way?
Our history speaks volumes!
Jehovah's Witnesses go door to door because they believe in their hearts and minds that humanity can be saved because Jehovah wants all his children, who he "caused to become", to live and not to die through ignorance and pride.
Wouldn't you yell at the top of your lungs if you knew that your friends and family were about to be engulfed in a horrific and terrible natural disaster?
How do you respond?
by shaemas June 22, 2006
The Jehovah's Witness could not respond to any of my questions unless it was covered in his telemarketer's manual "Reasoning from the Scriptures".
by TheOmicron January 11, 2010