Some sort of
long forgotten mythical creature that has come to life to destroy us all.
Legend says he charms his victims with his smile and sweet personality so they
don’t know he is actually putting a spell on them that will turn them into Hiddlestoners who will then do nothing but look at pictures of him and flail. He also appears to have the power to control women’s reproductive organs, either destroying them completely or sending them into baby-making overdrive. The only plausible reason for any of this is that he does what he wants.
Identifying a
Tom Hiddleston:
-Power Stance-ing all over the damn place
-He will probably be wearing an entirely leather outfit.
-If he is sitting, his knees will be about 4 miles apart from each other
-You will hear the call of the ‘ehehehe’
-Constant lip licking
If you spot a
Tom Hiddleston just stay
calm, offer him some sort of pudding and back away slowly. Then
run like you’
re in a horror movie. He’ll probably catch you anyways(long legs are all the
better to catch you with) but at least you tried.
Girl 1: *sitting in front of a computer staring at a picture of
Tom Hiddleston*
Girl 2: Hey… you okay? *pokes girl 1 in the arm*
Girl 3: It’s no use. She watched Thor for the first time last night. She’s been like this since the first
scene with
Loki in it.
Girl 2: How could you let her watch that! You know what it does to
people.
Girl 3: I tried to stop her! She wouldn’t listen to me!
Girl 2: Another friend lost to the
Tom Hiddleston.
Girl 3: It was bound to happen eventually.
Girl 2: Oh no… we have to get out of here. I think shes starting up Wallander. *tugs on Girl 3’s arm*
Girl 3: Magnus… Maaaaaaagnuuuuusss…
Girl 2: NO!! GODDAMMIT NOOOO!
