fretboard

The long area of the guitar under the strings where the player applies pressure with his or her non-strumming in order to produce different notes; the long, flat area on the front of a guitar neck
Wow, that guitar player is fast! His fingers were really flying up and down the fretboard.
by Bill M. July 27, 2004
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Ivory Fretboard

You go anal on your parter while air guitaring the solo to Stairway to Heaven on your penis.
I hooked up with Jessica last night, we put on a Led Zeppelin CD and I totally Ivory Fretboarded her.
by good god I'm good May 04, 2009
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Fretboard Diarrhea Syndrome

Fretboard Diarrhea Syndrome (FDS) afflicts thousands of guitar players. This condition causes the guitarist to play way too many notes and play them way too fast. This style of playing in no way serves the melody, the song, or the singer...it only lets the guitarist show off and gives him a chance to bob his head like a rock star. This unnecessary and distracting barrage of notes is often delivered at way too high a volume also, further diminishing the value of the playing.

There seems to be no cure for FDS.
"That new guitar player in the band? He has a severe case of Fretboard Diarrhea Syndrome...he, and now that band, is unlistenable!"
by ElCommissioner December 07, 2023
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