Skip to main content

Conservation of ninjutsu 

A law of the Universe, that states that there is a finite amount of ninjutsu available to each side during any given battle. If there are many ninjas, they are all awarded a fraction of the total ninjutsu, or 1/N where N is the number of ninjas present in the fight.

This is the reason why hordes of ninja warriors will be dispatched relatively easily, whereas the lone ninja is almost unstoppable.
Practical applications of the law of Conservation of ninjutsu:

Sir! There's an army of ninjas heading this way!

Don't worry, we can take them.

Oh wait... it seems they've given up, sir. There's only one guy.

GOD DAMN IT RUN!

conservation of greatness

Usually used in sports related situations (but also applicable to all life situations), conservation of greatness describes a situation where a person has just done something earth shatteringly amazing, and then immediately proceeds to attempt another amazing action. The second action has 1% chance of doubling the glory, and a 99% chance of failure, which includes a 50% chance of making the person look like an absolute fool.

Popularly used in the game of ultimate frisbee, but possibly originating elsewhere.
'Conservation of greatness' is rarely used as part of a statement, but instead is the entire statement, said after witnessing the the failed follow up action.

Said with great joy when an opposing team fails to compensate for conservation of greatness, but with utter frustration when your own team mate has just made a fool of himself.

Law of Conservation of Happiness

One of the several laws of life that states that in order for one to attain a state of happiness, another must become unhappy.
Chief was having a bad day. In order to fill his happiness bag, he decided it best to make the division stay late to take inventory of everything in the shop.

Further proof of the Law of Conservation of Happiness...

conservatorship 

Its a legal conservatorship where one person takes financial and personal control of another person who cannot control their own life due to a mentally disease such as dementia. This term is hugely known thanks to the #FreeBritney and #FreeAmandaBynes movement. There are more than 1.5 million conservatorships in the United States, most of them are abusive.
Only in people with diagnosed very severe dementia, or a mental/physical illness are "allowed" to be in a conservatorship.

Law of conservation of hardness 

Law of conservation of hardness says that when one man gets a hard-on, another man has to become soft.
"Foster was banging this hot chick the other day when I walked in on them. I was watching them going at it and was getting a hard-on and at that same moment foster saw me there with a boner a lost his boner. This is the Law of conservation of hardness at its best."

conservationalist 

An environmentalist that reifys the union of fundamental conservative political values along with environmental sustainability.
Left wing politician #1: "Whoah that conservative lad sure knows how to plan sustainability of natural resources with economics.

Left wing politician #2: "Yeah, except they they're doing so without spiking taxes on unnecessary sectors of the economy like we do".

Conservationalist: "Damn straight."
conservationalist by Crackoline March 12, 2015