*concussive narwhal syndrome (n.) - { sydromius concussive narwhalius } the result of getting into boxing match with a narwhal and getting hit, resulting in a severe concussion. followed by narwhal syndrome which can cause the victim to rapidly turn into a narwhal and/or the following:

bruises, sores, headaches, blisters, temporary blindness, diabetes, hearing loss, concussions, acne, congestion, deepening of the voice, impairment, lung cancer, OCD, alektorophobia, Mexico, racism, fever, rapid change in skin color, stupid, brain aneurysms, ADHD, insomnia, binge eating, bipolar depression, color blindness, pregnancy, Jake from state farm, dementia, hallucinations, household object eating disorder, heart failure, t-rex disease, lactose intolerance, obesity, swelling, standing on walls, high cholesterol, claustrophobia, compulsive cannabilism, Canada, phobophobia, chronic liver failure, dyslexia, back pain, asthma, COPD, pollen allergies, corpse husband, PTSD, black plague, hysteria, carbon monoxide poisoning, genesis, rapid change in race, hanahaki disease, chronic shrinking, autism, bioterorism, couch potato syndrome, dad went to get milk disorder, death, armageddon, disbelief in narwhals, etc.

* this is not real

UPDATE on concussive narwhal syndrome study: it causes everything, you can't hide. you have it. your mom has it. your dog has it. the weed in your front yard has it.

narwhals rule over us
gabby: " yea, my dad doesn't believe in narwhals"
riley: "oh- he must have concussive narwhal syndrome"
by gawrmochiii September 14, 2022
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If Tori wasn't concussionized by the Manchester team, we would have been undefeated the whole season.
by Sarahh! :D September 1, 2008
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A Russian Concussion is when one nuts into female's ears (preferably after intercourse), and then knock them unconscious.
Yeah dude we are doing some freaky shit, I gave her the ol' Russian Concussion last night.
by DylanKelleher69420 March 9, 2021
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An endearing term for when somebody near you falls over and hits their head badly.
(Small child falls off a slide and bangs his head.)
Passer by: "Ooo concussion dot com"
by JS90 November 23, 2010
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A type of surprise attack in which you take a keyboard, and smash it over the target's head. It's an effective way to cause a lot of pain to the receiver.
Person 1: Did you here that Chad got a Welsh Concussion?
Person 2: Yeah, I did. He had it coming, he was a massive douchebag.
by A Quantum Entangled Cucumber September 2, 2017
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The feeling of having hit your head after consuming a large meal of meat.
Oh wow, that was a delicious meal but now I think I might have a meat concussion.
by Martha-the-fly February 6, 2018
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When a man’s orgasm during oral sex smashes the back of one’s throat concussing the back of their head
Do to an ejaculate concussion, Mary wasn’t cleared to work for a week.
by Oldjaketed July 26, 2023
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