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maybe if a bullfrog had wings it wouldn't hit its butt when it jumped 

A weird saying that your southern relative said to you once. People speculate is has the same kind of meaning as: maybe is a strong word, maybe if the starving children had food they wouldn’t starve. But it seems to be said all country-like and it’s strange now.
Relative: Maybe If A Bullfrog Had Wings It Wouldn’t Hit Its Butt When It Jumped.
You: (Visible confusion)
Relative: maybe if a bullfrog had wings it wouldn't hit its butt when it jumped
You: Wtf
Relative: MAYB-
You: STOP
Relative: maybe is a strong word

hitting a pirate's butt 

becoming tired or fatigued, reaching the point of exhaustion. Derived from the more common "hitting a wall" expression.
I was out walking in the city all day and now I'm really hitting a pirate's butt!

Butthitter 

A butthitter is when you need to scratch you butt, BUT you can't because your crush is with you.
The boy was having a butthitter and was cringing all day.
Butthitter by TheManWhoMadeThis February 24, 2020