broomstick rider 

A non-gender specific term to describe an individual who possesses or closely resembles the attributes of a witch. While invisible to the viewer, this individual invariably and constantly maintains a broomstick between their butt cheeks. They may occasionally appear to glide as if riding a broomstick. The manifestation of broomstick rider qualities may include but are not limited to: virtually any negative quality, especially those associated with a witch.

Most notably seen in the qualities of the wicked witch of the west from Wizard of Oz. Cue music of wicked witch of the west riding the bicycle (phonetic pronunciation of the tune: DO DO DO DO DO DO (repeat 3 times with the third time finishing with a much higher pitch).

"That woman just spit in my sandwich, and then she wiped her greasy fingers all over it, right after scratching her hindquarters! What a broomstick rider!"

"My teacher failed the whole class, singled me out to sing the national anthem backwards as punishment, and then mocked me ruthlessly. She was a real broomstick rider!"

"That guy has been leading me on for years! He lured me into getting married, framed me, stole my kids and everything I own. Now I'm begging for bread crumbs on the streets of Manhattan. He was the biggest broomstick rider I've ever met!

broomstick rider by BRUTALTRUTHHURTS May 15, 2016