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Beating the monkey

Pleasuring one's self near the groin area.
"I found a picture of my ex-girlfriend nude and my mother caught me beating the monkey."
by yungmunch February 12, 2010
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Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
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betting on the monkey

This stock price is definitely going up. I am taking my savings and betting on the monkey!
by Barry Starstar January 10, 2008
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