Assured not stakin 

Minor wordplay on the classic "stirred not shaken" saying. In this case it means someone who is assured and not on the hunt for a mate.p

Bill: how was the hunting at the club last night? Bob: it was. Assured not stakin. My wife 😍 was with me.

Assured not stakin by 4realazitgits April 23, 2021

Rest Assured 

A phrase that is utilized to express positiveness, a guarantee, or just general "knowing" of a person, subject, or event.

Jake: "Was the party at TJ's really as cool as everyone said it was?"
Dre: "Hell yeah man. Everyone was having a good time."
Jake: "Man, for real? And I missed it?!"
Dre: "Rest Assured Jake. You missed more than you'll ever know..."

Rest Assured by stunna3098 October 9, 2011

Mutally Assured Destruction 

The principle underlying nuclear deterrence.

The recognition that the use of nuclear weapons between any two nuclear powers (or nuclear-allied powers) will result in mutual destruction. The reason nuclear weapons are so useful (and can never be used).

Mutually Assured Destruction guarantees that nobody but those crazy Arabs will ever use nukes.

Mutally Assured Destruction by Jose Fuentes February 12, 2004

Mutually Assured Distraction 

The practice of distracting others in a manner assuring that neither party gets any work done.

We were both working on our papers but then she started chatting with me on Facebook and it was mutually assured distraction after that.

Mutually Assured Distraction by Big South February 22, 2010

mutually assured 

Normally heard in the context of `mutually assured destruction`; when something is mutually assured, it is guaranteed to happen to both parties involved. This phrase is normally linked to discussions involving nuclear weapons, where `mutually assured destruction` means that we are all guaranteed to die.

Hindsight is always 20-20
But looking back it's still a bit fuzzy
Speak of mutually assured destruction?
Nice story...tell it to Reader's Digest!

- Megadeth, _Sweating Bullets_

mutually assured by Wingchild September 13, 2003

mutually assured friend zone 

The state of being in which two people both cock block each other into the friend zone even though they are both attracted to and want to be with each other.

They are then relegated to the state of perpetual friend zone with much regret yet they never know what it is that they failed to achieve.

Thus these two attractive people are forced to for ever interact and want yet not connect.

Bob and Anna MAFZ’d each other on Saturday; it was painful to watch. Mutually Assured Friend Zone (MAFZ)for the win.

mutually assured friend zone by IFYG DRM December 28, 2018

mutually assured destruction

a.k.a. MAD, refers to the military stalemate between Russia and USA between late 1940 and the present. The basic premise is that each side has so many nuclear weapons in its arsenal, that strike/counter strike would destroy both combatants.

mutually assured destruction by Anonymous September 3, 2003