Ass to Hand

A sexual act where a man goes straight from wiping his ass to masturbating

I was so horny while I was taking a shit once, I couldn't wait so I just did ass to hand.

by steelrod43 July 3, 2011

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ass to hand distance

the distance from between your ass and hand while wiping.

usually in the form of TP (toilet paper)

depending on your comfort level it can be any where from 1 to 16 sheets.

it may also depend on how stinky the dump was.

my ass to hand distance is about 6 sheets, i dont like to have my hand smell like ass

Joe's ass to hand distance is a disturbing 2 sheets. it makes me shutter to think how he can deal with the closness of his hand to his ass

by Con-man June 16, 2007

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Rip off your ass and hand it to you

To beat someone so bad that their ass becomes a jiggling mass of gel hanging off their spine, allowing you to rip it off and place it in their hands as they collapse into a heap of excruciating pain. After the beaten person finishes convulsing, you place their severed posterior next to their lips so that it looks like they are kissing their own ass while posting hilarious videos to social media.

You disrespect me and I'll rip off your ass and hand it to you!!!

by IGKYA53 October 2, 2020

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having your ass handed to you

Getting completely, utterly and totally beaten, defeated and crushed at a game, challenge or debate. Often computer based. Can be extended through the phrase "... on a plate"

When playing Halo 3, there was nothing more embarrassing for Duncan than having his ass handed to him by his girlfriend

"Matt, having your ass handed to you a couple of times can teach you a little humility"

by Ribz December 10, 2007

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have your ass handed to you

To be beaten like a Blind, Deaf, Dumb, Quadriplegic, Midget Hooker who owes her Pimp money.

A one punch TKO, wow the champ got his ass Handed to him.

by NADROJ January 21, 2004

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got your ass handed to you

Used in the popular TV show "The Big Bang Theory" when Penny and Amy beat Sheldon and Leonard in Pictionary. 'Got Your Ass Handed To You' is a phrase to mean something along the lines of 'You Just Got Thrashed!"

Penny: I wonder where the phrase Got Your Ass Handed To You originated. Maybe it's from ancient Rome where they'd actually chop off someones ass and be like HERE! You know to appease the god Loseronius.. The god of LOSERS
Sheldon: ._.

by Thatawesomegirlwithsass July 9, 2014

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